@$#%^&

There is something about certain things that make you obsessive. What is it that triggers obsession I will never know. It’s just this fire, which burns you and soon you are engulfed in it, burning your pride along with it. Thou shall not be jealous!! Hello who ever said that must either be deceiving or must be too holy for their own good.

I keep obsessing over my weight, my clothes, my relationships, family even something as mundane as the weather but somehow we always land up in a place where you don’t want to be emotionally. The tides of emotions, feelings of despair or sometimes of happiness take you towards two different spectrums which confuse’s me further.

Being obsessive has made me realize that I have become someone am not, whoa a personality shift has happened and when did the transition take place I have no clue..nada. But this person here is not so welcoming, I have lost my spirit somewhere, stranded somewhere on a lonely island all alone. Geez, is this what getting old means then I don’t want to go there.

I don’t see the reasons in things that are happeneing around me. I can’t accept certain things in my life. Everyone keeps saying wait and watch but I am tired of waiting and watching…ever have the same feeling anyone..tell me I am not alone in this!

Huh!

It's just so funny how when you want to write the most, you always fall short of words. Tonight as I sat with all thoughts cornered that I shall write...what was the question that lay ahead?

I write something and re read it I have this nasty habit just to tweak it. How I wonder it would be so easy to tweak life sometimes too and nooo am not gonna write a emotional blog vomiting all gyan.

It's so fascinating to look at myself, analyze see how I have evolved from the past. I lost myself somewhere, don't know if it's a good thing but I suddenly feel very MATURE. That's a big word for me, Ive all grown up well not all. I still get hyper and excited over little things. I still want to converse in the most wittiest of manner. I still love to twirl when I listen to music, or sing out loud when my favorite song comes. But I also understand how to grow and move on, I understand how to give space. How to forgive ( maybe not completely...getting there), how to see the better side of things.

The thought that often plagues my mind now is where am I heading? Where do I want to go? Who d I wanna be? I am 27 and sadly oblivious to all these questions. i see people around me who are settled, know what they want out of their life and here I am writing in a blog, finding myself. Is it me or are there any more pseudo adults like me?

Lets see...