Unsaid Words

 

In dreams and in the moonlight,

In the stars that surround us tonight,

The truth lies between you and I,

And all I can wish is for you to be here with me.

Love has no ties, 

Maybe that's why its so wise,

Never does it arise,

Without hearing someone's cries.

To you it may seem dry,

To me its eternal life,

But its all I have to offer,

So don't deny it tonight.

The hope I hope for us,

Is forever and more,

So don't feel shy,

Don't worry, don't ask why.

As it may be,

Love has no ending,

It will always be there,

For you and me,

So don't destroy the ties,

And feel the pain tonight.

Doppleganger Danger

We have had movies about it, books about it and its fun at times but for the people who suffer from the wrath of copycats, it is a pain in the ass. Some say it is a form of flattery – Honey let me tell you it isn’t. We have all had that “special” someone – be it a cousin, a colleague at work, a friend or hell even your mother (psst aka Chris Jenner). It is not a very pleasant experience. It almost like a contrarily structured version of you within the parameters of your vision. There are a lot of articles on the internet about how to tackle this situation, however I feel it’s not really possible. A copycat is a really insecure person without a sense of self. They have limited experience and rather than seeking that exposure on their own they encroach on your ideals/working style/ fashion sense etc. take your pick.

So here is my know-how on the subject. Well, it starts off very sluggish so you don’t even grasp it actually. You see this person as you would another. Though, the biggest point of anguish for them is that they never really have a sense of their own style or trait. Their range is restricted and they really do not get the notion of whatever it is that are insecure about. I feel that at this point they are so unified with the milieu that there is no one to notice them, sadly not even themselves. They do not get any interest from others which compels them to be veiled further. Then somehow you come into the picture – maybe you just joined an organization, or you just joined facebook. Suddenly this person see’s you as an inspiration – what leads to that is something that they are yet to discover. They start following your moves. At first it is quite normal and you don’t even feel that someone is encroaching on your individuality. There are stages to this which I have fathomed and they are as follows:

Stage 1: The Compliment Croon

As soon as the copycat is in your vicinity, they start complimenting on everything that even minutely related to you. Initially it might be “oh you are looking very nice”. Or it might be oo that frame if nice, which app did you use or which all networking sites you use. There is a “like” on every picture, a comment on every whatsapp picture change. Cool enough right – no threat there. You start to put your guard down, and the minute you become comfortable it progresses to the next stage.

Stage 2: The Follower Fellow

Now gradually the copycat constantly follows your every move, you don’t realise it and I think at a subconscious level they don’t either. But they start to observe little things that others don’t generally observe. For instance if someone compliments on your clothes – the copycat will ask you later where you got it from. They ask you generally where you shop from. They observe what products you use. The minute you say it boom the copycat goes on a shopping spress and the next time you meet them they have on or are using whatever products that you are using. They want to tag along for when you are shopping or ask you to accompany them when you are shopping and buy whatever you suggest or a copy of what you buy. They will go to all the people you go to – if you get highlights – they will get it, same hair stylist, same tailor and all that jazz. They will follow your every “activity” on social media. You see a picture of them in the exact same pose or background or action and instantly remember the shot you had posted a while back.They know your schedule. This now becomes a bit irritating.

Stage 3: The Creeper Climber

This is the stage things begin to get interesting, by now the copycat has begun to establish a secure sense of self (aka – your sense), and they see you as competition. Things turn from admiration to threat. They suddenly want all the attention. You come dressed and they will scan you from top to bottom. Noticing every little thing that you are wearing. At this stage, you start to get hints because you know the 6^th sense and all that really works. You know what emotion the other is projecting. There will be other people who notice this and will point it out but too late – you have just created another “you”.

Stage 4: The Jealousy Jester

Now this is the stage you should be really careful off and start to back up a little. This is the stage where threat turns into certainty. The copycat’s persona is glorified. They have attained a sense of self and they now take you as a threat. They consciously or subconsciously will try to harm you. At this stage I really don’t know how to combat this but experience tells me its best to move away from this situation.

It might be tiresome activity to “fashion” someone unknowingly but it is really a problem that needs to be tackled. The repercussions of it place an impression on your self-assurance and ofcourse hampers the relations. But then again, I always end up thinking – am I the only one who has battled this situation?

His Might, My Plight!

Outside so calm, 

You fool so many, 

When in your mind, 

You own so many,

The power of sensuality,

Is your epiphany. 

Break these shackles, 

Make me free,

Let me not think twice,

I need to show you, 

How to love me tonight .

For he had me his slave, 

To do as he pleased,

Over and over again,

I willingly obeyed, 

To each of his treachery.

Your words magic,

They cast a spell,

Your hands heaven,

They make me pray, 

Your voice delight, 

It sways me right,

Its you who makes it alright.

Minutes turn to hours, 

We worship each other,

Let this be our fate,

For eternity will be ours. 

It isn't easy, 

When you lay next to me,

I crumble inside,

Tell me what I want to hear,

Even when you lie,

Just hold me by your side. 

A Night's Delight!

Mriga’s  first date was full of nerves. For she wanted to test the water first. He seemed like the rest, was he any different? His words were magic that she couldn't deny. But would it be wise? A fear had set inside her mind. He was turning out to be intriguing, his mysterious ways, his aura had some magnetic pull it seemed. Mriga had always thought that love could not be found online. And here she was in another city, only to see if the whole thing was worth it or no. They had met the previous day as decided and things were a bit awkward at first. But then again the first meeting’s usually are..no? As the date had progressed they became comfortable and somewhat like a part of each other. She was leaving today but somehow she did not want to without meeting him again. To kiss him and see if the sparks she felt last night still existed.

She gathered all courage and walked up to his door,her heart beating rapidly and yet her breath was slow. Should she go ahead with it, will it be worthwhile, what will happen...the many voices inside her mind screamed. A little voice then urged...told her to live a little. She wanted him. She was hot for him. She was already wet for him.

 She had carefully chosen what to wear,  undecided between a dress or a saree. She knew he liked the Indian attire. Carefully, she wrapped the saree, giving just a slight view of what's inside. The blouse just skimmed the swell of her full breasts, hinting barely the start of her ample cleavage. Anxiously she waited outside his door, a good five minutes or so. Rehearsed and replay the words she would speak, practising different versions of it each time.  Finally she thought she should just go back, what if he was not alone. But something inside her stopped her and she decided otherwise. She opened her lush black hair from the bun she had on and tossed her hair around for that sexy out of the bed look. Quickly reapplied her mac lipshade – Lady Danger as she loved how the matte made her lips look juicy and luscious.

She thought twice again before she moved towards the door and gathered all courage. She had never done this before, she had always been the one to wait till the other made the move. She rang the doorbell, he opened the door and was shocked to see her. The heat in his eyes was apparent.  She smiled, congratulated herself on deciding the right outfit to wear for the day. His eyes scanned her from top to bottom, she knew that very moment the perfect words to say. Without an effort she muttered "Fuck me" and she waited wondering what was going on in his mind.

The first date was a disaster for Arya,  it was love at first sight for him and for her, ah well, she was one of those that took her time and tire the hell out of any lover she met. Persistence was thankfully one of Arya’s strong points, which Mriga was unaware of. Hours of writing her words she loved, to and bringing to life the images she fantasized was how it had begun. Just a simple exchange of words had caused so much damage to his heart, it was unimaginable.

The first date was when he was searching for someone serious to have a kind of relationship with and she was looking for a friend. Arya was serious , she was a the kind of girl who would look you straight in the eye and melt your inside’s right on the spot. Arya vividly remembered when their conversation turned to sex and pleasure and she said “You have a very talented tongue! Roll it around! can you twist it? “And that was it. He knew she was the one. She occupied his mind and soul. She was all he could think about or wanted to think about.

He suddenly wanted to be a part of her life, with her if possible. Take care of her and show her his talented tongue every day but she refused to let him into her world. Her complications, her thoughts were all hers! He was still the stranger she met, while he wanted to be so much more than just her dirty little secret.

A knock on the door was a surprise wakeup call from his thoughts of her. He did not want to entertain whoever it was. He wanted to be lost in her thoughts, undressing and making her moan in his dreams over and over again. A few minutes past and he finally got up to open his door and wished he had asked for much more. He saw Mriga wearing a black and gold chiffon saree and an orange blouse. Her hair was tousled and she looked as if she had run up that flight of stairs. He stared at her like she was goddess Aphrodite reincarnate.  "Fuck me", she said as he opened the door. All Arya at that moment wanted was to take her in his arms and kiss her till she asked him to stop.  He kissed her hungrily, something he wanted to do since their first date.

All Mriga wanted from Arya at that very moment was to bite her lip and suck them till eternity. She didn’t want him to stop. She wanted to taste his tongue. She tasted sweet, of wine and orange lipstick. She kissed him back strong and tongue flicking in.  She bit his lip and drew blood. She wanted him to take her there and then. If only he would let her enter. She wanted him and only him. To suck him and have him throbbing inside her. "Water?" He asked ."You", she responded .

He pulled her and sat her next to the door and pulled her down on the floor. She was so excited and oh so wet and hot that she wanted no foreplay. He went down. Flicking his tongue and sucking the life out of Mriga. He sat down in front of her and held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. Her little bindi was off center and he put it back between her brows. Her cheeks were edible and he kissed them softly and she looked up to observe his face. He touched her breasts for the first time. His hands full of her beautiful breasts, he felt himself harden. She kept looking at him watching his every move. He lifted her saree and put his head between her legs. Softly finding her femininity, he bit it. In the darkness below it was just her wetness and him. He belonged there. She belonged to him. He had yearned for this for so long. She moaned as he flicked his tongue between her lips and licked every drop of her juice. She could feel the heat building up, she clenched and arched up. She could feel the orgasm building up in her. 

That was the most erotic night of Mriga’s life and she pulled him up, held his hand and walked with him to the room. She kissed his face, slowly trailing butterfly kisses down to his chest and unbuttoned his jeans. She could feel the swell as she pulled down his pants and slowly stroked him up and down. She flick the head and trailed her tongue down his shaft. She took  him fully in her  mouth.She wanted him. Increasing her strokes and sucking him alongside. She could feel her juice dripping down her thigh. Hearing his gasps of pleasure she guided  his fingers into her and tasted what he longed for.  She licked each finger slowly and wondered why he was addicted to her. 

She slowly undressed him completely, and let him help her out with her saree. She stood there ready to  make her his once again. She saw the passion in his eyes as he looked at her and touched her hair, coiling it and pulled her closer for a deep and long kiss. She could feel his hands gliding towards her rear and he smacked her. "You are a really are my drug", he whispered as he nibbled on her ear. Slowly tracing his tongue down her neck and left little proof that she was his. He then took her hands and slowly helped her trace his chest and touch him where he wanted her most. He laid her down on the bed and slowly parted her thighs, he slid his hands to see if she was ready for him again. He tasted her again, as his hands squeezed her breasts. He tasted the perky mounts till she screamed because of the pleasurable wrath of his tongue. She tingled all over, locking her hands in his. Arya looked deep in his eyes, asking for her permission to be his again. She smiled and kissed him back will fervour. She was ready and she was his.

She could wait no longer and saw that Arya too needed some relief. Rubbing him she guided him into her. To thrust in her with all his passion. She screamed,he moaned as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in deeper. She wanted him to stay inside her to swell and seek bliss in her as she reached for the heavens for the second time. 

 For moments after that they laid together, wondering and caressing each her. She had to catch the late night flight. But this felt so good. Arya satisfied her in ways she never thought anyone could. It was not the physical satisfaction but the way to her soul. She knew right then he was the one she had been searching for. Or atleast that is what she thought till the alcohol ruled her mind and body.

Love Rules

We’ve all well mostly have read the book – He is just not that into you (though the movie was better actually) and we have had numerous discussions on how to be the exception and not the rule.Well boo hoo that’s just a façade to trap women to buy the damn book. In reality there are no rules, hence no exceptions- its luck or just really fortunate or calculating people. From all the discussions i've had at least, I don’t know about you guys, but I present to you some rules.  So, here are some revelations – the rest I’ll share in my book *totally fictitious ofcourse*  :D

Rule: If he loves you, he will marry you

We have seen so many movies well mostly Bollywood/rom-com's, where if the hero loves you ergo he will marry you, WTF - this never happens in real life, in reality you don’t know if he really loves you or if he just wants to basically screw you or use you to get what he want. In reality there are very few devoted people who love you and marry you. Rest is just "arranged" anyways right. Also girls are not what they seem, they lie, they cheat and they manipulate and they get the guy that they want. Funny thing is, even if they do marry you with some god’s grace, they keep searching for their “Soul Mate” -  * a word not to be used lightly apparently *.

Rule: If a guy likes/loves you he will call you 24 x 7

Well no that just happens when you like each other or are starting to date or maybe he wants to lay you soon. If you call him or he does every day, you do get irritated *insert pyar ka panchnama discussion scene here*. He might respond decently but isn’t it weird when you are together he moves out to take his calls * run like crazy girl and don’t look back*. There is an entire game plan that people have. I don’t even want to go there. I mean keep it simple yaar.

Rule: No one is ever busy to talk or message if they love you

So in continuation of the previous rule, I mean hello we can be workaholics or busy with other things. I really don’t know from where such rules see the light of day. The person has to be the most chep person ever. You tire yourself and other person with the constant banter. Really just stay away already. The saying – distance makes the heart grow fonder, was there because of a reason. Give each other some space and it would be very kind on the rest of us if the coochi coo's and the baby, jaanu etc can be kept between texts and preferably away from our ears.

Rule: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves

That mostly totally never happens. You may just be a challenge and when you succumb, you deary are conquered and hence you will no longer remain a task on the "to-do" list. People have their own commitments, for instance you cannot expect a person you have the perfect chemistry with to forget everyone and give you a shot *perfect movie plot though* but nonetheless does not happen. They say they are being sensible but are they? or are you being unreasonable? anyhow....

Rule: He will only forever love you

The most misused line ever!! Imagine him looking at you with those puppy dog eyes. NO, NEVER HAPPENS. You need to be exciting enough, or be better or constantly provide boost/sexual innovation to the relationship just so you can keep a man trapped for the rest of your miserable life together. I really don’t know what the origin of the phrase is though *need to do research* but in reality you constantly keep thinking about when your spouse will stray. That happens way too often anyways.

  

Rule: If he loves you, he will do anything for you

Where do we even come up with such notions? I mean really they must have been  all the twisted love sick type people and ofcourse the movie screenplay writers who have made this an utterly glamourised commercialized myth of all times. It’s THE lie of epic proportions. Fact is life is ugly and there are people who do not believe and work on such notions but still use them to make you fall into a trap, that is fatal.

 

Rule: He is your happy ever after

Oh this is wrong on so many levels. How can you ever hold anyone else responsible for your happiness? They may be a cause of your happiness at times but it is only you who can make you blissfully and eternally happy. The sooner you accept that fact the better it will be for you. I am not saying that you need to be selfish enough to not let anyone else come in between you and your happiness but you need to prioritize yourself sometimes. That is the wisest thing you can do for you. It is not wrong and there should be no guilt attached to it.

So ladies, before you become the heroine of this horrid plot called "falling in love", I implore you to be realistic. To know that love is there in the universe, scattered as it may be, but there is no fairy tale love. It is exactly what that is – a story. So be who you are, love yourself and find someone who will prove me wrong :)

A Paradox!

I love writing! There isn’t anything in this world that can make me feel better other than writing. In happiness – I write, in sadness – I cry and then I write some more. Let’s just say that writing gives you this amazing feeling when you are scribbling down your deepest, darkest thoughts -  there is only you and your thoughts.  I have not been able to at times voice out what I feel but still I try my best to frame words and then write it.

Today I don’t know but I just felt so alone suddenly. Words seemed to have left me. I did not want to write about how I felt. I want to sit in a corner, with a cup of coffee and just think about where my life is heading. I don’t know if anyone has such feelings or maybe worse. But I want to just sit and cry for reasons and people. I want to mourn the life I never lived. The life that I dreamt but never really happened the way I wanted. I think of a thing/plan/person and magically I seem to jinx it. I am scared of my thoughts, I am scared of being happy. 

Everyone wants to write about love, pain, happy times and laughter – am left with nothing to write. I think I finally know people – nope nada. Zero in that department. I think I know am set in my ways, I over ride myself, I think I have a connection with someone – turns out they have their own agenda. You are forgotten in a minute, you become a stepping stone to assist someone else in their journey. Where does that lead you? People use you in varied ways – they might use you as a time pass, they might use you to get connections and network, they might play with your emotions, they might use you for their pleasure, they might use your skills, they may like to copy your style to get ahead , take your help. They might say you matter but do you? Did you ever? It’s not a mirage, its reality. People show you the mirror. They show you who they are in ways that end up hurting you more. There are so many things people expect and take away from you. It is not easy to be a person who does not think before they leap.

I have this sudden urge to just go away to a place where there no human in sight. Is that too extreme, I don’t think so. I need to reset my life, I want to let go of the hurt, I want to live again, I want to remake my life again. I want to not communicate certain things, I want to not meet some people. I want to take back some steps I took, some words I spoke, some love I gave and some moments I shared. Is it too much to ask to want my own time back?

A Simple Message!

This life has so much to offer,

But we the fools cannot see or feel,

This life is like a precious moment,

The one we treasure deep within.

Till the tide of death sweeps us by,

In one go to end it all,

There are high's and low's,

Of course the joys and the sorrows.

Isn't it up to us, how we discern it to be,

How eventually we want our world to be,

Ask the one who is alive, how he wishes to die,

And then ask the one dying,

how he holds on to every strand that dangles.

With every dream by your side,

The laughter and the cries,

The love you receive,

Is only what's left at the end to please.

Tonight, I stand facing the open sky,

To stretch my dreams a little wide,

Feel the peace hovering and yet so haunting,

The night crying lost forever.

To feel the breeze as it touches your skin,

Ever so slightly, look just a caress,

The wind is here to stay and whisper,

Convincing  you not to wander.

Everyone we know and care for,

One day become a part of us,

Memories trapped in the cage of mind,

Tilts the heart to set the soul free and sublime,

To carry forward the joy - our fruits of life.

So don't let fear captivate you,

Instead let happiness mesmerize you,

Envisage the world of your dreams,

So that it is not shattered and lost in desires deep.

God blessed us all,

In one way or another,

He hears us all,

But unable to respond to others,

To hold you tight and come to your side,

Unable because his hands are tied by time.

Yes he resists  when you cry,

When you need him the most,

Helpless like a small child,

Trust he knows, your existence galore,

The beauty of life,

Like the flower which holds the dew so tight.

So try to love not hate,

Care but not hurt,

Help and try to forget,

Forgive and walk ahead,

Then you shall see what is in store for you,

Something really spectacular,

Just have the vision and the soul.