Facebook Fright!

Now, all of us ladies know that life being a woman is punitive. There are factors and situations which are beyond our control, so let me not get into the minutiae. All I will say is that among the much aggravation we go through, from being physically agitation to mental and emotional harassment, thanks to social media; we have losers pestering us online. So, I thought why not, since a blog is an avenue that reaches out to people, here are just few of the missives that will help you experience what we go through as women. So here you go, just a preview of our lives:

Atul Singh

pacakages

good things come in diff packages,,,dunt they???

Manish Saini

wow

hello ******, honestly u looking so hot and gorgeous, i'm Manish from new delhi, a graphic gesigner, would u like to friendship wd me, reply me, i shall wait for that, bye good night

Shivraj Sinha

hi

jst wnt thru ur profile n i saw ur pix n i was really carried away...............so i tot of sending u this msg kyunki baat karne se baat banti hai

Ashutosh Surollia

hi ******

i knw it wuld sound weird but i was jst browsin on fb n smehw went in2 ur profile n jst thought 2 hv a casual frendshp wid u...if u dont mind

Yash Sharma

hi dear hello, i m yash n ur pic is luking ccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooo cccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwweeeeeeettttttttttttttttttt realy, babye dear tc good nyt swt drmz, b happy n keep smiling olways

Kamalkant Kashyap

hiiiiiiiiiii

i'l jz write

so sweeet so beautiful evryday lika queeen on her throne don nobdy knowz hw she feeelz ****** lady 1day it'l b real....!!!

u'v gota mesmerisin countenence....!!!

lil bit mor so chk it out...!!!

ma tea'z gon cold m wndrin y i got outa bed at al morning rain cloudz on ma window i cnt seee at al e1 if i cud it al b gray bt ya pictur on ma wal it remindz me bt it aint so bad aint so bad....!!!

tc...!!!! au revoire...!!!

Aman Aman

dear ****** THe first impression of your snap, you are straight forward, brilliant , an excellent woman already being made , a woman who will respect people in all walks of life . You are a great human being, caring, precise, gentlewoman, you will not hurt anyone from your heart, but you are capable of being blunt if required - probably unconsciously and then you might feel sorry, you are short tempered just for a moment But you will not express, You might cry within but you will not express outside You deserve to have a nice soul to join your journey in life and GOD never lets GOOD SOUL down , he will grant your wish in life. You have a personality that speak volumes , women will secretly admire your impeccable aroma, and men will love the soft heartedness of your soul which can be read thru your eyes - ****** thru this mail i m conveying there is an enigma in your name and you continue to behold the same. You will do very well in your life, i can read that , You will meet someone that your soul is seeking and you will get to know of that and that person will walk hand in hand and support you thru and thru even without your knowledge to give you the satisfaction of having been born , lived and succeeded, Your soul believes in a universal power pristine and pure and you have come with a purpose to accomplish, many souls will benefit from your soul and that will give you the happiness and joy of living. actually i m not some mahatma or antaryami but i have adone a course under the ageis of DRDO and der i learned the tecqnies of reading others personalities by seeing thier faces, i m major in the indian army, i have seen your profile in facebook.com while searching one of my old classmate profile. after seeing your profile and snap i could not resist asking u to be my friend, if u wish and i hope it will gonna be great interaction coz u and me r from totally different world (profession)altoghter. hope to get a early and postive respose from u . maj aman

Facebook User

hi dear i wanna b ur frnd plss add me

Rahul Jiandani

hey i must say tht u hv the beauty tht myths r about n i would regret not writing 2 sum1 so intriguing so y shouldnt i say hi 2 u

hi!!!!!!!!!!!

Harjot Chadha

hlyoooo hw yew doin ji

Atif Khan

Nice Pic & Beautiful Eyes.. few lines for your beautiful eyes.. Main teri mast nigahon ka bharam rakh lunga,,, Hosh aya bhi to keh dunga mujhe hosh nahin.. Thanks

Parvesh Shokeen

hey hows u dear? can we be friends? do me a reply no matter what ever ur reply be, am waiting

Rohan Sharma

hey GOGEOUS hwya doin?? js wndrn... if v cn b frnz hppy holi gal

Mahesh Patil

u look heavenly awesome wid intresting profile , i like it ,m impress pleasure to add u miss heaven ?

Sumit Parmar

Hey Sssup Miss !!!

Hope u Receive dis text in ur utmost well Condition.... Well to b Straight Enough,Saw ur Pro Randomly Nd Found u and ur Pro Interesting Enough to Interact did Soo Couldn't Resist my Fingers Sending u Request.. Soo do let me Know wid Wots the Catch!! Hit me back Asap, Bi Tc !!

Facebook User

u have beautiful smile n eyes....bt ur eyes says many things...always smile...as i am face reader thats y m saying it...tc ...

Aarav Sehgal

hey ******.. fb suggested me to add u as a frnd(under people u may know)..i viewd ur profile n saw ur pic n i thot dts pretty kewl suggestion coz leme tel u gal u rock i luv ur attitude u carry in ur pic... u r extrmely beautiful and gorgeous, alluring,sublime, appealing, beauteous, charming,well-formed, classy,gorgeous, , cute,pretty, pulchritudinous, delicate,ravishing, divine, elegant,radiant, excellent,admirable, exquisite, fair, fine, foxy, good-looking, grand, ideal, lovely,bewitching, magnificent,enticing, marvelous, nice, pleasing , refined,fascinating, resplendent, shapely, beauteous, splendid, dazzling,statuesque,delightful, stunning,graceful, superb,comely ,symmetrical, taking, wonderful,angelic ...phew dont know more words leme just say "******" it includes evrything i guess...ryt?

Abhishek Singhal

I wont force myself to have space in ur life...bcoz if u really knw my worth...u'l make one for me...goodmorning dear have a wonderful day..

Pankaj Malik

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

r u into modeling business you got an attitude in ur pic i wish i could have the same

Gajji Rao

hey gorgeous mk friend pls send me add request with ur reply

Kumar Varun

Hey what's up, how u doing? Just came across your profile and felt that we can gell up if we talk on proper lines and would have things in common...Would u like to interact, if you not averse to new people...Flexible enuf...??

Siddharth Kashyap

Hey hi, I had just gone through ur pics and liked them very much,they were nice.Would u like to be my friend forever. o dear i dont wanna loose u...waiting for u response

Luke Thomas

Would be pleasure to add u on my fb and bbm too.... Wont add u until ur prior permission..

Arsh Arshad

hi ****** . Arsh dis side can i take few moments of your precious life ?

Ashish Sharma

hey hi...hows u? hey u looks damn beautiful

Kapil Soni

hi hw r u would u like to make friendship with me

Manish Chaudhari

With all due Respect, Killer PHOTO

You are sooo beautiful! and Your smile could sell a half-million magazine covers.....

Regards, With Peace & Affection...

Hang Over

r u into modelling....?

r u into modelling....?

Abrar Ahmed

I'M SWEETEST boy & MY HOBBIES LIKE DANCEING , LISTING MUSIC & WATCHING TV.......................................

Rahul Nair

hi dear ,, how u doing ??? just saw you in 'ppl you mak know' ,,, sweet smile ,, wat u do dear ?? lik to know u more ,,

Sahil Sharma

hiii ******  how r u ??? i m really very sorry if m bothering u by sending this msg.. I saw ur profile on facebook and really liked it so i felt like sending this msg to u . Actually i like to know & talk to different people, so it wud be a great pleasure for me if i get a chance to know u .. Plz let me know abt ur decision...i ll be waiting.. Take care

Raghvendra Pratap

i really liked ur profile. kindly go thrumy profile & if u sincerely feel i deserve to be in ur friend list PLS add me. thanks. waiting for ur positive reply. hope to chat to u soon......the reason y i m asking u to send me add friend request is a way of expressing my respect to ur individuality as a woman.......hope to receive ur add friend request soon........... rest assuredu will always treasure our friendship...

GI NI

hy have seen u smwhre.. i dnt rmmbr whre ?

Ammy Jay

Hey ******.. em male escort.. from india.. this is not my pic. if u want my pic. text me. i'll send u there.. if u want me to do somethng for u thn u can text over there.. i'll fullfil all ur needs.. it is secert between us.. dun worry i'll be there for u..

Karan Malhotra

Hello Mam, How are you? Hope you will find this email in good mood and spirit.

Let me introduce myself, I am a professional Massager who worked in Thailand / Singapore / Germany and have started my set up in India.

I am professionally massage therapist. Should you require Fully Body massage, Head massage, Toe massage to rejuvenate your body and soul. I do waxing also.

I am available on call as per your convenience only........you can drop your number or message ....

Would love to hear from you soon...

Regards KM

Vikas Goyal

Hey how r u doin...i like ur profile...for now nothin to talk much...bye byeee

·  Sahil Sharma

U got such a simple, nice profile. Is it fine to be frens? Cheers, Sahil P.S.: Elegant Face..........

Sahil Sharma

Hi.. sober, simple and gracious pic.. Regards, Sahil

Shazzy Shaku

How are you Sharmeen?

Mohit Kumar

Sorry to text u without ur permission ... nice profile pic ... and u seems to be a creative person ....are u an interior designer

Facebook User:

Hiiiii..rohini..your beauty & splendour is most outrageous smile emoticon heart emoticon kiss emoticon heart emoticon

So...Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * pulls out all her hair and is currently bald*

आँखों का नज़रिया!

रो रो के थक गयीं यह आँकें,

शायद इनका काम ही यही है,

किसी और के लिए ही शायद,

बनी थी यह तभी।

अपने ग़म तो बहुत थे पहले,

शायद ख़ुदा ने सोच लिया,

के हम अभी और के फ़क़ीर हैं,

दे दिया एक नया दरियाँ। 

दे दिए ऐसे मोड़ हमें,

काँटों से भर दिया रास्ता,

चल देते है मगर हम भी,

क्यूँ की साथ दिया उसने हिम्मत का तोहफ़ा। 

थक के अगर कभी मन करता है बैठने का,

नहीं दिखता मगर सुकून का कोई भी गवाह,

इन आँखों को अब आदत हो चुकी है दुःख की,

की अब तो बस , ना रहा यक़ीन,

अब तो बस लगता है ख़ुशी से डर ए जहनसीब। 

Forked Road!

I really wish I could turn back time,

Where we were just strangers,

Maybe a new story would have survived,

Before the lies began,

Before you jaded me so,

When things were amazing,

When the heartbeats were slow,

When you were you and I was me,

There was no one else in tow,

When there were no questions,

When there was serenity,

When the feelings were true,

When there was purity,

But now we are at a forked road,

Trembling in fear and angst within my soul,

Will you ever answer the questions that I have?

Will you ever make the pain go away after all?

Why do people cheat?

There is just something very disturbing when you hear about an affair that ruined a life of someone close to you.  Met with a friend who seemed so happy and whose husband I thought was such a nice guy , he did the unthinkable. He had an affair with a colleague. You can control your actions but never the actions of another; this is a sad reality that we must face. Sex addiction or being drunk has nothing to do with it. Maybe it’s all about “Cognitive dissonance”, what is wrong and bad for you, it gives you a thrill. Maybe it’s a trivial thing for people who cheat; it may be a defense mechanism to justify the cheating.

I have been cheated on so I know the feeling, I empathize. Two other people very close to me have been cheated on as well. I have seen how it breaks people. You lay your utter trust and faith in someone and then it only takes a minute to choose to do the unthinkable. Trust is a fragile thing; I think the most fragile thing. The recovery from a break of trust takes the longest. Hearts break but there is someone who can fill that void, ease the pain. But trust is something that needs rebuilding. What do you say to someone at this moment? There is just so much hurt, feeling of betrayal that is in the air that you just can be a good listener. People don't realize that their partners do get to know about these things. They fear this and are so shattered that it literally shakes them to their core.

Infidelity in today’s time is increasing to an extent that it has made me lose faith in relationships in general. If a man or a woman cannot make his/her partner or a love interest secure, they never will. Most men might not want a relationship but just sexual intimacy with the other. If someone trusts you, they expect loyalty in return. It’s not that you are not allowed to interact with the other gender but when there is something fishy, you instantly know. If the other person is giving you freedom and space, respect that gesture and trust. It’s not that your partner won’t or doesn’t get any offers, they do, maybe more, but they chose to be faithful. This shows the dedication that you have for a person, respect for their faith in you.

Physical cheating with someone may hurt but there are various other forms of cheating and mind you all of them come under emotional abuse. Self-gratification is what is leading to the destruction of people. I read somewhere, that when you don’t choose to cheat it’s basically - “This is called “maturity.” It’s called “being an adult.” It’s called “not being a fuck up.”I will never know the exact cause of cheating. It may be an ego boost that someone else desires you, it may be that you are not connecting at some level. If that is the case then why not communicate it to the other. If you have lost interest in them, why not end it and then go with whoever you fancy. What is the need to hide and break someone, over and over again?

Cheating does a lot of internal damage; the friend I spoke about is pregnant. At this stage in her life she is traumatized, even thinking of aborting the child. The other two, have given years to their partner and what did they get in return? Infidelity is very tough to face more for the one who has been cheated on. Guilt is never really an issue for the cheater. It all boils down to choice and how you can make the other person secure. I mean if you are making so much effort for a new person, did you ever try doing that for the person who actually cares for you? So just communicate, work on it or end it.

Did you?

Did you promise her the same things,

Did you tell her how your day went,

Did you tell her about your demons,

Did you tell her about your feelings,

Did you tell her how amazing she is,

Did you tell her about me,

Did you tell her all about your issues,

Did you tell her your insecurities,

Did you compliment her eyes,

Her hair, hands and lips,

Has she bared herself to you,

Did you kiss her during the dark night,

Did she satisfy you evening, night and in the morning,

Did you get something special for her,

Did you send her what she asked on her bday,

Did you pick a name for her,

Did she pick a name for you,

Is she up when you are sick,

Does she care if you ate,

Is she worried how your cig count is increasing,

Does she put you to sleep,

Have you left her yet,

Did she cry her eyes out,

Did she pour out her heart to you,

Or does she satisfies your lust abound,

Does she think of ways to calm you down,

Does she make an effort to make you smile when you are down,

Does she make you scream,

Does she even make you bleed,

Will she wait when you ghost her,

Have you told her you adore her,

Did she show you her wounds,

Will you note them to hurt her too!!

Confused Plight!

How do you miss someone,

When you don't know who they truly are,

The tears flow again,

Knowing you were cheated,

The constant battle that is ongoing,

Sometimes breaks you into pieces,

How do you cure the pain,

How do you forget the deception,

The maze of the mind,

Secrets outshine the plight,

How do you choose what to believe,

How do you know the lies will be ending,

You remember then all you've known,

Suddenly you become a stranger to your own. 

Clarity!

Amidst all the mind games that people play with us, we often forget how the other person in a relationship is left out and feels rather cheated, lied to and that it may not leave them with a very healthy and positive experience as well. I have always found this gimmick quite childish actually; I mean how true is the relationship if you have to manipulate a person to be with you. With so many quotes going around, emphasizing the fact that people should accept and love you as you are then becomes a lie really. So how do you know that which relationship has the potential to be partially satisfactory or which spells doomsday?

Every relationship needs work. No matter how much in sync you are with each other, no matter how much you like each other, it needs work. The bond needs to be formed over and over again. You need to be careful about the other person’s feeling and not take them for granted because usually that’s the easiest thing that can happen. You like someone, you fall for them, love might happen but it is a process of growth and there is a struggle post the honeymoon phase in any relationship.

As you grow older, you learn and you unlearn certain things about relationships. You change something, you let go of some habits and you adapt. Sometimes you need the courage to try again and sometimes to walk away. It’s often a pain because irrespective of the fact that you may know a person, do we ever really know what goes on inside a person’s mind? I have been thinking a lot about this since some time now. How do we choose which relationships are worth a try, which should last and which should end? Personal growth is often not given as much importance as we would like in times as such, especially I feel with emotional people because they invest a lot of themselves in a person.

I hope that this helps in making wiser choices for a good relationship and makes the experience worthwhile for you and the person you are with. One of the best articles I read that shed some light on relationships that are fulfilling is from (Source: TheGoodMenProject originally published by Hey Sigmund) and I really thought about this article so I will add on what I feel about it and I quote:

“Being with someone who is great at relationships can feel a bit like magic and a lot like home. The good news is that anyone can learn the lessons they’ve learned and be great at relationships too. Here are the things that people who are good at relationships have learned to do, that anyone can master"

(Initially everyone is goody right, but how it unravels should be considered as well. We all like to make good impressions and sometimes it works and you connect, be it chemistry or karma, it works and sometimes it doesn’t.)

"They let themselves be vulnerable: They’ll talk about their thoughts, ideas, feelings, fears and they’ll ask about yours. They know how to live and love with an open heart. When they let you in close it’s beautiful, and the intimacy and trust flows freely. Being around that kind of person is addictive. They are able to own all of their messy, fragile, uncertain, extraordinarily beautiful parts, making it easy for the people they are with to do the same. There’s nothing like not having to hide. That kind of purity and permission is effortless to be with. They aren’t like it with everyone though, and you know it."

(This is a critical step for any good relationship. If you decide you like a person and you deem them worthy of sharing your secrets, it creates a bond. This builds trust and without it really no relationship can work. But sharing yourself with a person should be conditional I agree, so judge a person if they are worth your secrets and if they are, please don’t lie to them.)

"They self-disclose: Self disclosure is the essence of intimacy. They’ll talk about their thoughts, ideas, feelings, fears and they’ll ask about yours. It’s important because it signals trust and a desire to be close. Aside from sex, it’s this level of self-disclosure that makes an intimate relationship different to others. It nurtures a fierce understanding of each other and gives a context (not an excuse) to behaviours, moods, feelings, fears and weaknesses, making it less likely that things will be taken personally and that fights and arguments will be given enough spark to catch fire."

(As we spend time with a person, there are often cues to their personality and moods which one should pick up on. If you tell someone which buttons to push, you also lay faith in them that they won’t misuse it. It is very easy to hurt someone when you know the weapons that will kill them. Choose how you want to proceed with them. Once bitten, twice shy, renders you unreliable and the trust dwindles.)

"They aren’t a slave to their past: A past. We all have one. People who are great at relationships don’t let it define them or any future relationships they have. They use the past to inform the future, not to drain or burden it. We all make mistakes and we’ve all probably been out with a few, but the people who are great at relationships don’t let bitterness, regret or guilt chomp at their heels and ruin something that could be amazing if they let it. They can move on, let go and are able to see new things with fresh eyes, and not through a filter that is dusty with hurts and heartaches of the past."

(Everyone has their own emotional baggage; some just handle it better than the other. But if the person you choose to be with can move past it, is there no better thing. If someone knows your past and then helps you live a life, maybe a better one without the grudges of the past tainting your future, it is worth a shot. Because of the emotional baggage, sure there will be many fall backs, but communication is the key. If you really want this person, talk.)

"They expect to be happy: They know where they end and where you begin and they won’t try to dump their stuff onto anyone. They expect happiness for themselves, their relationships and the person they love. More importantly, they act as though happiness is always on its way, even if it gets delayed by life’s upsets sometimes. People who are great at relationships know they live in the real world and not in a storybook, so they know there will be arguments, bad moods, sadness and sometimes not enough time/money/fun, but they accept that bumps in the road are a setback and a normal part of play, and they are able to look beyond them to whatever better things lie ahead."

(Happiness is a very intrinsic thing. You may have the worst of days but if someone is there to lighten the load and make you smile just a tiny bit, isn’t it worth it? When you are close to someone, you cannot stop their moods from affecting yours, it will happen. Their issues will become yours; they will help in any which way they can. I think it’s worth something, no wait, a lot actually.)

"They want you, but they don’t need you: Needy people will never bring out the best in anyone, because they’ll take whatever you give and then look for confirmation that it was for them, that you actually meant it, that there’s more coming, and that you’re not giving more to someone else. It’s exhausting. There’s no excitement, there’s no challenge, and there’s no inspiration to be better than you are. People who do relationships with flourish let you know that they’re with you because they want to be – because you’re you and you’re different to everyone else on the planet and they think you’re incredible. They love you because of who they are with you, not because they’re terrified of who they are without you. They just love you."

(You are your own self. Maintaining that if you want someone to be a part of life, take it as a privilege, because it is one. They can choose anyone; they chose you, respect that and remember it always. )

"They own their ‘stuff’: They know where they end and where you begin and they won’t try to dump their stuff onto anyone. If they’re cranky, tired, frustrated or angry, they’ll own it. They’ll take full responsibility for their own insecurities, jealousies and whatever else might knock them off track (and yes, they’re human people not human machines so of course they have their bad days/weeks) but they’ll take full responsibility and work towards dealing with it."

(This would take a LOT of practice, but hey we are only learning right. No one is perfect anyway. In fact, why would anyone even want perfect.)

"They will grow with you, but they don’t need to change you: They’re quick to let you know when you’re getting it right. They’re grateful, observant, available and present.They know who you are. They know who they are. They know what they were signing up for when they thought the combination of the two of you was pretty special. They’ll grow with you when they can, and they’ll support you in the growth you do on your own, but they won’t need to change you."

(Change is personal. If you feel you are unhappy with something, change it. It has to come from within. That driving force has to be within you, to make you a better person. Because if pushed, the blame game happens and that as we all know, gets very ugly. So change because you can make the other feel better, change because it makes you better.)

"They give and take: They are able to give and receive with an open heart. It’s a giving that is rich, generous and deliberate, but it’s done with a level of self-respect that doesn’t let them keep giving when nothing comes back. They know they aren’t any good for anyone, especially themselves and the people they love, if they allow their emotional well to run dry because they’re with someone who takes more than they give."

(Unconditional love really does not exist. It boils down to two things whether your expectations from a person are materialistic or they are emotional. Give and take is how a relationship should work. It can never be a one way street, because sooner or later the burden of it increases and you either feel the guilt that you are getting too much without giving or the loss that you are giving in too much without getting anything.)

"They don’t take themselves too seriously: They’re not stupid and when it gets to the point that they’re giving too much more than they’re receiving, they’ll be done. There are some things that make humans particularly wonderful. Laughter is one of them. It helps couples to work through stressful times and to maintain a connection. It’s designed to make us feel better about the world and closer to the ones we’re next to in it. Laughter shows people that you understand them, like them, love them and people who are great at relationships don’t hold back on any of these."

(Well, this one is a no brainer actually. You try till it can work, then you have to let go of it and some point.)

"They let you know: They’re quick to let you know when you’re getting it right. They’re grateful, observant, available and present. They don’t need to outshine you and they’ll be your greatest cheer squad, celebrating you and the things you do. They’re quick to let you know that they’re proud of you, that they appreciate you and that they think you’re pretty great to be with. Yep. They can be pretty irresistible like that."

(This is the key really- communication. When people don’t talk about things, assumptions happen. This is what can make you or break you. )

"They’ll put you first: They know that if they put you first, and you put them first, you’re onto a winning formula for something extraordinary. They don’t keep score – that’s one of the great things about them – but be careful if there’s nothing going back their way. They’re not stupid and when it gets to the point that they’re giving too much more than they’re receiving, they’ll be done."

(Everyone wants to know that they are a priority to someone. So if they are, let them know it please. It really does wonders.)

"They do what they say:  They’re accountable and they aren’t into games, because they know with games there is always a loser. They’ll be where they tell you they’re going to be, they’ll call when they say they will, and if they’re keeping secrets, don’t worry – it will be because they’re organising a special surprise."

(It is a very inherent trait so really can’t write much on this.)

"They love like loving you is easy: Love can be hard work but it should never feel like it takes more than it gives. When you’re in a relationship with someone who does relationships well, you never have to guess where you stand. They’ll let you know by the things they do, the things they say, and the way you feel around them. Love was never meant to be a guessing game."

(Ah, love! Everyone has a different way of loving and be loved. You cannot put it in a box, it’s a very need based feeling. The right person, will know how to love you and you know what the best thing is, you can tell them how to.)

"They talk about the stuff that matters: They know that both people can be wrong and both people can be right – sometimes at the same time. They keep the small talk for the small stuff and aren’t afraid to dive into the deeper things. They’ll trust you enough to talk about the things that matter to them, and they’ll want to be close enough to you to notice what’s important to you. They’ll ask about things, explore things, and be open to whatever beautiful depths a conversation leads to. And they’ll happily go there with you. They’ll even lead the way if you want them to."

(A good friendship or a relationship is one where there is free flow of information. When you share, you subconsciously let the other person know that you care.)

"They hold you when you want to be held and touch you when you want to be touched:  Physical intimacy is so important in a relationship. It releases oxytocin (the bonding chemical) reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), communicates love and is the most nurturing thing in the universe. It’s not just the deliberate types of touches like sex, kissing, holding, but the incidental ones too – the stroke as you walk past, brushing hands, touching your back as they walk behind you – it’s beautiful, life giving and will strengthen a connection like nothing else on the planet."

(Non-verbal communication is one of the best ways by which you can tell someone that they are loved, adored or cherished. Tell them and show even more.)

"They’re committed to working through an argument rather than proving their right: Things that are meant to last forever were never meant to be rushed. They know that both people can be wrong and both people can be right – sometimes at the same time. They work with the data rather than the emotion, and they know that even more important than anyone’s version of the facts is how each of you feel about those facts. If you’re jaded about something that was hissed at you in an unguarded moment, you won’t hear, ‘But I was just trying to explain that I’ve stacked the dishwasher every night this week and that you haven’t done it at all. Geez why is everything a personal attack with you!’ Instead, they’ll apologize for the snap and if there’s something you need to hear, they’ll do it with love and generous intent and in a way that keeps you connected, rather than in a way that propels you to pack a bag and call your sister."

(No one is perfect and admitting when you are wrong, now that takes guts. Talking through an argument and clarifications is what helps clear misunderstandings if any. Especially in these techno times where half the conversations are via texts, it becomes rather tough to gauge emotions. Things are misinterpreted and chaos begins, so talk it out)

"They love you the way you want to be loved:  Not everyone wants to be loved the same way. Knowing someone intimately enough to love them the way they want to be loved, and caring about them enough to do that is the formula for a relationship that will last a thousand Sundays.People who are great at relationships have a way of making the person they’re with feel a little bit smarter, funnier, stronger, more beautiful – a little bit more able to take on the world and win. The relationship is close, intimate and loving and seems effortless. Of course no relationship is actually effortless – all take work and a willingness to give, receive, grow and maybe do some things a little differently – but things that are meant to last forever were never meant to be rushed.”

 (Well, can’t argue or add on to the last point, kinda perfect.)

So even though we might not find someone who is a check per every point but it’s all about how much effort they put in to be with you. At the end of the day, it’s just about the fact that they want you to be a part of their life for a while or for life.

How do you find him?

Every single time I watch P.S I Love You, I am torn. I cry for atleast an hour after the movie. When love taints your life and then you see such movies it brings out certain very contradictory thoughts. You pine for such love and then you think about how would you deal if you lost it. 

Giving away yourself to a person, who traps your soul, makes sure that you are happy even without him, how do you 1. Find such a man and 2. How do you let go? 

Love does make a difference in your life but only when you get the right kind. It's often difficult to distinguish between the love and ordinary love. Yes, there is ordinary love, it's when you want a certain kind of adoration based on a checklist. But how do you find that one love, torn between demands, frustrations of life, your expectations and your insecurities.

 How do you find someone to trust for life, one who wants you the way you want them, who makes sure ur insecurities die, who lets you know you are beautiful, who shares everything with you, who makes you happy by just being them and let it stay that way? 

शायद!

किस रास्ते पे आप छोड़ गए हमें,

ना कुछ ख़बर, ना अपना पता दे गए,

नज़रें ढूँढती हैं हर दिन किसे,

क्या वो असलियत है या नहीं,

डूबते सूरज कीं तरह मगर,

समुन्दर में शायद कोई झलक दिख जाए,

डरते हैं यह पाओं हमारे,

कहीं डगमगा गये तो शायद भूल ना पायें,

बस एक आस हैं की आप पास रहो,

मगर झूँठ के दलदल में हम गिरफ़्तार है,

लेकिन दिल यह कहता है,

सुन ले जों यह कहता हैं,

शायद रब ने चाहा तो,

कल फिर एक नया सवेरा हैं। 

Paradigm!

You may not want to admit to yourself but most often in relationships, we give away the power of our being to another. Who has the right to treat you wrong? No one but we give them the leverage to treat us unfairly. Words cut the deepest and they never heal. They fade but they always stay with us. They shape our being. People hide things from you. People manipulate you. All for what? We lose out on our autonomy; maybe not all people do but yes most who are emotionally vulnerable do. There is a fine line between doing things for the other, making them a priority and then totally shying away from what you feel and should do for the other person.

Emotional abuse is the worst kind of treatment that you can give to the ones who care or love you. Being attached to someone does not give you the right to berate them. To use words those intend to harm. You do not have the right to yell at them, to keep them in the dark. If a person bestows their trust in you, value it. Out of a million people, if someone chose you, don’t take it for granted. Every tear is worth something, a lot actually. Every smile even more. If you cannot make someone’s life easy, don’t make it tough. Why hurt people who are emotional? Because they make easy targets? Because they lay their faith and trust in you? Because they actually give a shit about you? A friend has been suffering in her marriage and I feel for her because I made her go for the guy. I made her choose him. She is such a lovable, dependable person who truly does a lot for others and she is suffering in silence. You shouldn't have to play games to get and give love. If you love a person, there has to be some value in their faith and love for you.

When I reflect on this, I start to think of unrequited love. So much adoration and possibilities, where do they all go when they are not given back. You meet a person, you connect, you fall for them and then if there is no future- where do you go from there? It literally feels like your world as you know it, falls apart. You have no idea about how to cut back and let loose the emotions you have for a person. The immense affect they have on you. What happens to the dreams that you weave. The fantasies that you play in your head over and over. How do you force yourself to let go but you still hold on by a tiny thread of hope.

Maybe – such a powerful word it is, isn't it? It’s like you are walking the tightrope, one step, one action and you fall into heaven or hell. We've all had that someone who did not return our love. Crushes are totally different; they come and go but the ones that affect you so leave a mark. You know you have to walk the life that is laid out for you. There will be people with whom you will have to walk ahead,  but that person won't exist in your future. That really really sucks. Because when you know the potential of a union, ok say maybe it won’t be that great, but what if it is, so still you think about it and try. Every now and then in your life, you will end up comparing them with the ones you have. You would think of how they would have treated you v/s how you are treated. Is it worth it? Maybe not, definitely not. But that’s destiny I guess. So even though your unrequited love might think and wish for you to get the best, you get what you are destined to. But what if….what if….

The more experiences I accumulate, the more introvert I'm becoming. The walls are becoming stronger. More barriers are being formed every day. Every brick on this wall is reinforced with betrayal of some kind. This is what I am left with. So ya, from now on I made a vow to myself.  I will abide by certain rules:

•  Don’t hurt anyone.
• Choose the words you speak.Think and realize how they would impact the other.
• Choose who you open up to .Be an open book but only allow certain people to view it.
•  Be a little selfish.
• Don’t believe in just words, they need to be validated by actions.
• Judge a person, don’t trust people immediately.
• Cry and but never forget.
• Know your worth, even if you feel like shit.
• Know that you are loved and cherish people who really love you. They deserve you.
• Know that it’s not your job to fix or raise people.
•  Leave when you are not wanted. Stay when you are needed.
• Differentiate between fake and real.
• Try, don't give up till you have to. You never know what would have happened with that last try.
• Tell people how you feel about them, at least even if you are not together. You know you did your best. Gave your 101%.
• Irrespective of how many bad experiences you have, love. You open yourself to more hurt yes but you never run out of love, for one day, someone might really need it.

So, that’s about it. Even though these rules help but eventually they can’t change who you are as a person. It will take time and a lot of hurt to reinforce these rules but just maybe you are lucky enough to find someone who makes you forget all these rules and just be you.

Woeful Whimpers...

O' teary nights and mornings,

You were missed so,

My eyes so dry were wondering,

Where did the pain go?

O' salty stream of sorrow,

Time to kill this heart again,

To drown in the torture again,

When will this curse end?

O' ruby like aflame gleam,

Blazing for an eternity it seems,

Wounds of this heart won't heal,

When will this agony cease?

O' Broken, bitter, barren you weep,

Maybe you will die due to a broken heart indeed,

So cry all the rivers and oceans you can today,

Finally the eyes are blinded by the pain insane. 

O' let your self depart and be slain,

As the tears flow more rampant,

Remember when he asked if he was ever yours?

You snivel more because he is home, just not yours.