Wonder

Ahhh finally the cold is gone. As I welcome summer, its a beginning of a new life, new hopes and dreams.

I finally figured out most of the chaos in my head, need just a head start on things. I know what I want and need. I am ready to receive.

Suddenly it seems like I have a clear vision into the future. Of my expectations and desires of what and how I want my life to be. The only thing I need is one gentle push, a slight shove and there just right there I can feel it in my reach.

People who don't matter or never will moved away. I came to know about what it means to be and have a friend. What kind of people I am blessed to have around me to love me.

Today as I stand, watching the stream of life glide by, I know where I am heading.

Is it?

So two words can make all the difference. Two words of confusion, conviction, question or devastation.

How different can two words be and what can they make you feel is entirely what you believe and/or perceive.

Random thought, is it?

If only!

Would have done anything,
Fought with the world,
Stood for anything, against anyone,
Done everything, said something,
If only you said yes!

For us, I would have hoped,
Would have cried and wailed,
Sailed away, told lies, convinced everyone,
Done enough, left nothing,
If only you said yes!

Left everyone, loved nothing,
Was a lot at stake,
Would not cave in,
Never give in, held tight,
If only you said yes!

Instead, stood alone, fought alone,
Cried alone, died alone,
Sighed alone, broke alone,
Cause you never said yes!

A Song too many

A song I heard,
Its melody so slow,
Full of sorrow, not hope nor glow,
As I listen, my heart sores!

All the memories come flooding back,
How a melody strummed,
Can bring peace or agony at once?

A tear rolls, a smile fades,
How I trapped myself again,
Time flew, but its back again,
That wind that froze, blew again!

A blocked door, found a way again,
That rusted lock, threw open today,
Trapped soul of mine cried again,
My wish never fulfilled, died again!

Flow!

Water is meant to flow,
Unlike the other rivers,
Why is mine so slow?

I drew a path,
Cutting through mountains and snow,
I thought I had a crystal view,
Where did my direction go?

I stand alone,
With want to thrive and flow,
Am still at the same stop,
Wondering where to go.

As all the others pass me by,
I think of taking the familiar path,
Then I remember all the stones,
Hurting me so bad.

I took a chance to force a new path,
Contorting , struggling and twisting so far,
Finally I did move a little,
Only to find a blocked path.

Some moments are priceless

We are lucky! Whether we acknowledge it or not but the truth is we are. Some special moments always leave you with little joy that can carry you through a really bad phase in your life.

How you make it yours to stay is the question. Just the moment you meet a loved one after long, fills you with so much happiness that you do not knw
what to do that is something which is so precious.

Picking flowers and inhaling the intoxicating aroma of those wonderfully fresh art of nature take you to paradise.

Laughing with friends, sharing memories or talking to your family about the crazy things that are happening makes you happy to be alive.

I had some of these special moments remind me lately how blessed I am even though life may sometime eclipse happiness. Its eventually what we make of it.

This I learned today!!

Weird feelings

It's just so weird, one minute you are all happy and the next you are bombarded with a different feeling.

Is it part of growing up, I will never know. Seems that as I have lived my life with all my experiences there always seem to be instances where the power to rule my emotions is handed over to some person. How this control lands in their lap is what I need to work on. I guess that is one thing that I will need to master.

All the events as unfold again, I relive them again. The painful, the seductive, the happy and the sad ones too. All I wish that one day I may be able to just forget about these strangers taking control of my life.

It's stupid but somehow so surreal.