Unanswered

I don't know which one is worst...being cheated in a relationship or being the one who cheated.

We all talk about being humans, who care oh so deeply for people around us especially who we love and then we go ahead and hurt them in such a violent way.

Its weird when you think about it I mean in an arbit situation if this happens you automatically say that I will not do it and yet when the situation presents itself you think of only yourself.

Where is the sanctity of love, loyalty and trust. Do we really value money and appearance more than what a person can give us. How do we judge who falls in which category. It's unsure, people are tricky and just when you think that you can put your trust in someone, they put you down.

All around me along with me, I see people going through the same thing. Have we really lost our humanity, our conscious. Any relationship is no longer pure, it just stinks of betrayal, lies, games and manipulations. Why can't it be simple , why do we have to make it so complicated. Is that because its what we've become.

Its really sad, because the heart becomes tainted and I guess it never goes way. You bury it deep inside, never allowing it to resurface and what then. What happens when the bridge falls or the wall that holds it fails. Where are we then?

All you do is just think about the things that you could have ignored. The people you could have judged better but even though it will be the biggest lesson in your life, It will be the biggest pain too.

How many can you blame? How many can you change? Not enough and it will be never enough. It's just how we humans are!!

Today!

Stuck in a loop,

Going round and round,

Just when I thought,

I got it all out.

There it stays, then it catches fire,

It was just buried underneath that big tower,

What do I do?

I need some guidance.

How can I survive?

How will I survive this madness?

This is me am not so sure anymore,

Somewhere I lost me and gained a foe.

I need to be me again,

Need to be sane again,

Seems surreal now,

But I need strength again.

My belief lies broken,

My faith lies shaken,

My clarity is lost,

It’s all seems like a façade now.

Who can I trust?

Who will rebuild it?

Because everyone I meet,

Had made me a victim always.

Is there no sanctity left?

No worth of trust and loyalty,

Since when was love this disappointing,

When did we stop believing?

How will I ever love again?

How will I ever dream again?

When I see myself shattered,

Am unsure to pick up the pieces.

There is nothing left,

Just darkness at the end of the tunnel,

What I learnt today,

Is to be selfish.

Where are the days,

When people used to die for each other,

Where are those days?

When love used to be a temple.

Where is empathy,

Why is this world full of liars,

Why do we fall in love,

With the wrong people.

Then the journey of pain begins,

The curvy way with dangerous twists and turns,

At every turn I stop now,

Not sure if I survive the next turn.

Then when I feel I am okay,

Destiny throws a dice my way,

Tells me my suffering is not over,

I need to cry more tears,

I need to experience pain and fear.

Then I start the journey again,

The bad and the good,

Everyone calls it life,

I call it my mount Everest.

Initial!

 

You made me just a name,

In the list of people you played,

Ever wondered how my heart felt,

How you stabbed it to death.

To you I just remain an initial,

You left me cross and wilted,

The misery still surrounds me,

You pushed me in a well so deep.

I strain, I toss and turn,

I urge my strength to come back,

Thinking what did I do,

To deserve a man who broke my heart.

Betrayal’s so easy for you,

Took my all to love for you,

Just when I thought my dreams will come true,

You shattered the mirror of hope.

You gave me pain, sorrow and heartache,

Didn’t I love you enough,

 You broke my trust,

and took my sanity with you.

Today I am just an initial,

When once I thought I was your all!

A Road to my Destiny!

Someone I used to be,

Lost I don’t know where,

Some body took my soul away.

It so happens that was written in my destiny,

To suffer every heartache and every misery,

I need to find strength to make it in the end.

I need to change this me,

Lost in darkness of past,

Picking up pieces of my life,

Every so often I sit to think back,

This was not how I imagined my life would be,

How every second of the day I would fight to find peace,

Hunting in the shadows this obsessive need,

All I wanted was to find the one who left me.

How it happened I did not think,

I did not feel till 2 years had gone by,

Then it hit me like a brick,

All the lies and the betrayal,

I saw myself falling into the never ending ditch,

Waiting for someone to save me from myself.

Just a thought!

You know everything, you understand everything and then you realize that life has a way of fooling you. Knowing too much isn’t enough, knowing a little isn’t enough either. Sometimes your life just seems too out of focus like it’s lost it’s balance. Things don’t happen the way you want them to and people keep telling you that it’s for the best. The only question that comes in your head is that, does it turn out to be for the better? Do the people who hurt get their share? Do they ever realize? Even if they do , are you there to see it...

Hmmmm too deep...thought so hehe

Weird thought!

U know a thought just came to me we all run for democracy and we are the victims of the biggest dictatorship like ever and I never guessed it was FATE!!

I mean if everything is predetermined and predestined then what the hell are we doing? If we fight so much for something and it's not even gonna be ours then why fight at all. Just to see it slip away. I mean we are the biggest puppets at the hands of some three crones as per legend who decide what's gonna happen to us. Pretty darn sad isn't it lol

Well then that leaves the door way open for Hope and bla bla...where are we actually, do stars and fate decide who we are and how things are gonna be for us. Well I don't know but am pretty psyched to find out.

Maybe on my death bed, I shall revisit this blog and then look back and tell myself  all the things that I wanted and all that I was destined for. It's amazing isn't it to know that the blue print to your life is all up there somewhere and someone is grinning over your every wrong move ...BUGGER !!

Well atleast there is some optimism left which makes me think that better things are waiting for me after a period of sheer bad luck( hopefully)...hmmm..better not jinx it huh. But still am totally utterly sad to think that no matter how much I try there alas is no free will..

Sad yet True!!

I need to know!

I need to know,
That I am gonna be fine,
It's so tough now,
My faith's shaken to the core.

I need to know,
Will i be able to survive,
This is a curse or a blessing,
When will I decide.

I need to know,
Love is for real,
It's not an illusion,
That surrounds me more.

I need to know,
I'll be happy tomorrow,
That I'll be myself again,
That I'll stop missing you someday.

I need to know,
There is a future,
My hopes and dreams will flourish again,
My life will be normal someday.