Confessions of a Movie Enthusiast

Cinema does make the imagination more vivid. It takes you places you always wanted to see. Makes u experience an array of emotions. Makes you understand how to love, makes you see the ugliness of hate. Breaks your heart and teaches you how to survive. Makes you realise what it is to have family and then how it feels when you are alone and unwanted. Makes you respect life and prepare for death. 

In this short life, with so many aspirations, I love the cinema. It makes me want to go be an adventurer, to sought hidden treasure, to be a lone ranger, be a gangsta 😜, be the powerful pirate sailing the seas. To be chased, be wooed and fall hopelessly in love. 

To be a damsel in distress (not really), to go touch the stars, to meet aliens ( too far fetched, I know). To solve a mystery, to be a cartoon, to be someones muse, to be the saviour, to be able to sing and dance. To be everything and much more! 

 

A fast moving year!

What a great year....it's been three months and I've lost respect for certain people. It began with my journey back home, from an amazing holiday! How it began...well let me elaborate!!!

Certain people who are often adept in keeping up appreances or lies usually have a very limited time period. And so it happened that these people threw some light on their behaviour. When you're good wishes are misread, some double faced manipulative people surround you, some attention deficit bimbo rubs you the wrong way and somebody's characterless (I don't use this word often but only when valid) nature makes you want to gag,you realise how small people can be. 

When you try hard after convincing yourself to give second chance a thought. How you write to someone and end up with a slap on you're face leaving you confused, hurt and surreal, it becomes a challenge to invest in people. 

Call me naive or childlike but I like to see the good in people. Most of the times yes am proved wrong for which I have suffered the consequences. You trust less, you gel less, you communicate and interact less. 

You move into your own bubble, protected by your fear. It has been the beginning of a great year. A year full of lessons you learnt. 

Looking forward to more....maybe not!!!

Happy Woman's Day

Yes so you feel proud, a day dedicated to celebrating who you are! A woman!! 

Its funny though because you still objectify her in simplest of things. To elaborate I shall never know how a bikini clad woman can sell a/c's. You sexually abuse her everyday, you look at her with utter lust in your eyes, you torture her, you burn her, you rape her, kill her. Its always facinated me that in a country like India, where you devote yourself to goddess's, you do not even spare a two or a three year old. 

Yes I am lucky enough to be born into a family with modern thinking, given a chance to study and become friends with like minded people. Given a chance to prove myself, to truly empower myself. Blessed to work with some pretty powerful women but still there is so little u can do to change the mindset of certain people. 

When you look for a soul mate there are people who still think and want a docile, coy and/or a person they can dominate. Sometimes it shocks me that this is a demand of educated so called metrosexual men who claim to be intouch with their sensitive side. 

A day dedicated to ladies will not change those lecherous looks,unwanted physical contact,kissing faces or dirty comments. What we need is to raise men, who respect women and give them the respect they deserve. 

So for now, ill accept this hope. Have a great woman's day coz u know we rock!! 

Sorry seems to be the hardest word!!

Sometimes things just don't go the way you plan. Sometimes you screw the situation so bad that no matter what you think you can do to turn it around it just does not happen. 

One misunderstanding, one stupid fear makes you do things you regret. All you do is think of ways that you can mend it but then again whats done is done. 

Sometimes you just have to live with it. Words take a life of their own, they don't come out in the right tone and then the damage is done! 

How I wish things could change, but its just me sayin this. How I wish I could make the situation clear. How I wish I would get an equally eager reply but In the end you pacify yourself thinking maybe it was not meant to be. 

And then you just hope that maybe........

Lauryn Hill at her best!!

"Selah"

Nothing can be done against the truth
no matter how we remain in denial, yeah
Wasting time, replacing time with each empty excuse
but they'll only work a little while
Coping with despair, knowing you're not there
ashamed to just admit I've been a fool
So I blame it on the son, run away from everyone
hoping to escape this ridicule
Trapped in misery, wrapped so miserably
and this deception, I wear it like a skin
Dying to maintain, oh I keep trying to explain
a heart that never loved me to begin
Oh I'm such a mess, I have no choice but to confess
that I've been desperately trying to belong
Lying to myself and everybody else
refusing to admit my right was wrong, and then he came

And then he came
Selah, oh and it means
Praise and meditation, and then he came
Selah, oh and it means
Did you think about that, and then he came
Selah, oh and it means
Praise and meditation, and then he came
Selah, oh and it means
That it is seen

How beautiful is fruit still in denial of its roots
my guilty heart behaves so foolishly
This treason from within that reasons with my sin
won't be happy till it sees the death of me
Selfishly addicted to a life that I depicted
conflicted cause it's not reality
Oh what's left of me, I beg you desperately
cause me to agree with what I know is best for me
Please save me from myself, I need you, save me from myself
please save me from myself so I can heal
The choices that I've made, oh have been nothing but mistakes
what a wasted use of space, should I die before I wake
In all of my religion, I've fortified this prison
obligated to obey the demands of bad decisions
Please save me from myself, I need you
save me from myself, please save me from myself so I can heal

And then he came
Selah, oh and it means
Praise and meditation, and then he came
Selah, oh and it means
Did you think about that, and then he came
Selah, oh and it means
Praise and meditation, and then he came
Selah, oh and it means
That it is seen

And then he came
And then he came, then he came, then he came
And then he
And then he came

A Winter Day!

Looking amist the foggy window,

Dark clouds cover the sky,

Rain falls down and takes you by surprise,

Coz its just another winter day's delight. 

Everything you hold on to,

Blown away by the cold wind,

Waiting for the clouds to clear,

Waiting for the sun to shine again. 

Awake in the early hours,

Thoughts plague your mind,

All the things which didnt work out,

Leave you sour and blind. 

Now the sun does not shine,

You sulk and you cry,

Then again you think,

Just another winter day's plight. 

All the things you go through,

Raised hopes and dreams,

All alone like a fall leaf,

Struggling to not let go of its tree. 

The clouds will finally clear,

Sun will shine again,

Another winter day will fail,

When your spirit will shine away. 

So true