Another resolution that I wanted to work on this year was to create an experience which is not encapsulated within your life and the people in it. We do so much for ourselves and somewhere that is making us selfish in all arenas of our life. We cannot think beyond 'us'. There is a whole world which may be happy or sad but we wouldn't focus our energies on it because we are too busy focusing on our life, our happiness and our pain.
The last year of my life till now has been a very painful journey, a lesson that I was taught the harsh way without really asking for it. I felt so engrossed in my own misery that I turned into myself. I wondered why was I at the receiving end of it when I didn't do anything to instigate it. I've been questioning myself for almost 3 months now, overthinking every little detail, every little incident and every little conversation in my head and it was driving me insane.
They say when you ask for help, you receive it. I never really ever thought that there was some truth to this statement but now I have been proven otherwise. I asked the universe to help me out and even though the path was very hard, I got the answers that I was looking for. I asked the universe to help me let go of what was not meant to be and I was shown the path and the strength to let go. So, I asked the universe to help me heal the pain because even though I know it is a process that I will have to go through, I wanted some relief and so it did.
A friend had visited an old age home and I was so touched by the gesture that I promised to be a part of whatever her next venture would be. A visit was planned to a children's home, a juvenile centre for children in conflict with the law and a shelter home. There were children there who had been abused by several men, several times. Cases of elopement and abandonment, missing children. Children who have recently been shifted from hospital after a crime against them. So much innocence has been robbed of them. Yet, the couple of hours that we spent with them doing mundane activities brought such powerful emotions in them. That excitement, the laughs, and the hugs. I could see how much they craved a loving touch and how scared they were of it. No person let alone a child should go through such a traumatic experience. The sweet voices confirming our return gave me a lot to think about. It taught me more than anything to be selfless. It showed me the strength of my presence, my warmth and my smile. It made me believe in something.
No matter how much pain I am going through, whatever intensity of struggle I am going through, it felt nothing compared to them. The pain seemed to vanish when I held them, spent time with them, hugged them, spoke to them. The pain didn't matter. I think they gave me more than I was able to give them. They gave me courage, they showed me what bravery is. They showed me that life goes on no matter what. They showed me how much more I can contribute to this world, even if it the tiniest thing like my time that I devoted to these kids. After a long time, I was truly happy. It was reflective on my face and after the longest time I slept like a baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment