Recourses of Life

Choice, such a simple word and yet has repercussions that go beyond infinity. Every man and woman has the potential to be good or bad, it’s the choices that we make which define us. You can choose to let the past stain you or you can choose to be positive, learn from the experience, savour it but also choose to live. In our lives, we often find so many things that break us. Some succumb to the pain but some shine and some just graze through. Choice is an important facet of any situation that you are in. Every bad experience that you have, may bring out a positive. This is the general notion. For instance, take love; if you suffer bereavements or disappointments, it is generally believed that if you love the wrong kind, you know how to appreciate the good. If you’re married to the love of your life and yet you see no effort being put into the relationship by them at least you learn to be independent and learn to not expect much out of them. Sad as the case may be but at least it teaches you to be self-reliant, brings forth a sense of self-worth and if there are kids involved, you end up becoming or at least strive to become a positive role model.

Many a men think that women are materialistic, most maybe, but men are too these days. But not every woman needs gifts. Some just want you to be around them when they need you. To listen to them carefully when they talk and to give them the warmth and security that they desire when they are sad. That emotional support which is needed and is lacking, that support which they extend to others and to everyone around them is what they crave as well. What women want is to not have the loyalty of their spouse or loved one questioned by them over and over. All a woman needs is honesty from the man that she loves. To be that one person who brings her peace within the storm of chaos that dwells in her. To have someone that is scared to lose her for a change and to have her happiness matter to him.

You hurt a woman that loves you when you betray her when she devotes herself to you. It’s your choice to lie to someone, because sooner or later the facts so appear. What people don’t understand is that how you treat a person says a lot about your character than them. So when you disrespect a person and especially your woman, your wife, your spouse or for that matter any woman around you, it shows your mentality. It's your choice if you mislead them, it's your choice to hurt them, it's your choice to make them go through pain, it's your choice to not be the person you promised you were. It's then the choice of the woman to love you even with the pain or choose to walk away even though she loves you.Who died and made you king? Who gave you the right to talk any which way to a person, subordinate, or even an acquaintance? If a person  treats you with respect, it’s never their weakness. There are a thousand ways in which they can respond. They can retaliate, but they don’t because of their ethics and the way they have been raised. People often forget that this trait is not of the weak.

Teach this to yourself and to your daughter, if you ever have one, to fall for a person who really wants you to be a part of their life, not for a moment but a lifetime. Space and judge the other well before you give your heart to them. Choose the one who will wait for you, not rush you and understand you even in your moments of insanity, sadness and will help and guide you genuinely. Who will be your support, who will want to talk things over after a disagreement, who will want to make an effort. Who wants to be with you, at least give quality couple time. It’s easy to fall for a body, or a face or a memory, just because it reminds you of something that you lost, but it will only lead you to the idea of love, but not true love. The definition of it keeps changing as we progress in our lives and both the people have to change if they want to survive the relationship. That means that one needs to not just say that they want you or love you or will not let you go but actually make the other realise that’s the case. Love is not just ardour words, it's not about gifting flowers or expensive dates or whatever ideas the romantic movies create. But it's love when you're both given what you need, emotionally, physically and mentally by each other, when you really need it.

We live in a world where it’s so easy to just use words as an escape from responsibilities, commitments and life. The battle between words and actions has forever taken a spot amongst the top debates. Words may charm you to the core, build hope, however necessary they may be but at the end of the day, actions is what makes you believe in a person, a relationship and yourself. There is often a difference between self-respect and ego. The former being the trait of a lady and latter of the archaic man. No one has the leverage to treat you like a door mat. Women often forget this in relationships, friendships and at work too.Deep seated indifference is what happens when have unconditional love for a person and they break that bond. A person who has done all wrong may be the one who is happier in the end but at least not with the one who truly loves them. In such moments, it is very tough to be a nice person. You cannot do anything about it anyway, so the questions haunt you and then you isolate yourself and start the misery trip again. I really wonder how someone could be this careless about someone else’s feelings. Maybe it is time to change yourself and harden up. Inculcate within you a lack of sensitivity. Who is out there to appreciate it anyway right? So might as well let it go.