Life's Tutorial!

There is so much love in this world. There are people willing to love you. Life is all about change and growth. When you accept change, you grow. It hurts and you feel the transition within you. As such in life, you compromise a lot of times to maintain peace within any relationship and accept your destiny when you land into situations that seem destined. You accept when you feel that you've been used to the core, and you take all of that hurt and turn it into a lesson. You don't knock for love on doors that partially open at their convenience and shut to reopen for a new stranger. In this fast paced world, there is a distorted view of love. It suddenly begins to matter more for the other party when you stop giving a fuck about it because when you did give a lot of you, it was always taken for granted and squashed. The stars have your destiny wrapped around its finger and you end up dancing to its tune. No matter how much you struggle, it pulls you back unless, you learn to walk towards it. 

If you love someone... wait, let's not even use the word 'love' as of now, when you have intense feelings for someone, you have to accept the fact that the feelings may not be reciprocated, accepted, may be ignored, laughed at, be a ploy to manipulate, play or use you and sometimes may not even culminate into something real and concrete. Any one of these scenarios can play out. The worst feeling though is one when you are interested in someone, they make you believe they are interested too, and just when you begin to hope for something to work out, they act as though they are trying to "save" you from them. See one might perceive things wrong but as you know I like to do my research, it's one of the tactics of reverse psychology. It's a common manipulative technique used by a narcissist to serve their own need. A toxic person like this knows and uses your vulnerabilities, your insecurities, all of it, against you before they know exactly how to reel you in.

Most of us don't even realise when we become targets for someone because we are way to busy getting charmed by them. Suddenly one fine day you find yourself falling for a person without using an ounce of wisdom you have, not realising that it's all going down too fast. You end up believing that may be the universe has finally listened to you and brought love to your doorstop. You open your heart and decide to give love another shot. He seems to be everything you ever wanted and just when you get this taste of love, you want it bad and then it is just taken away. The relationship, no matter how long, leaves you confused, in agony and in ambiguity. It shatters your heart completely, they break you down like you are nothing. The healing this sort of relationship needs a lot of hard work and a lot of time which you no longer have.

The hardest thing is to work your feelings of missing them, of wanting them. Of all the things that could have been but aren't. Of all the drunk nights when you stay up crying, of all the times memories just hit you and you take a step back. When you miss them and you remember all that has happened, thatwhen it hits you like a boulder. When you crave them, in all the ways possible, knowing that it can never be. When your feelings are real, when you know the reality too, it's exactly like being stuck in between a rock and a hard place. You are the rule. Remember that and drive yourself to forget and heal your heart. Your love never existed, you need to change paths and you have to be okay about it.

How do you get over nostalgia and the hurt? There is no easy way. You need to just do whatever works for you. Also, do not depend on another person to make it okay. If one thing you should learn from you being heartbroken is NOT to use another person as a shield. Take a break from all the dating and focus on yourself. Whoever will come close to you next deserves the best of you. Not a broken or a damaged you, who at this stage is like an active volcano just waiting to burst. Rebounds may successfully culminate into full time commitment but then what happens when you are healed. You look for what you really need then and no one should be at the end of that search after investing themselves in you. Let the hurt leave for good and you need to find your way back to life. Stop questioning why they hurt you, because the reality is that they did. Just let them go because there is no reason to find those answers anymore.