Okay, so the process of meeting perspective husband guys has begun and it's taxing as f***. Why do relatives set you up? Why? I mean talking of the endless times where one reunion with the family and the next week goes into hushed telephone calls or chance encounters at lunches at a relatives place or when directly you are told to go "meet someone". How many times you have to smile through the endless conversation of when you will meet the "lucky guy" who will finally have you. It's like a deep abyss you keep falling with an echo of your relatives or friends voices going "GET MARRIED SOON".
There are all sorts of men that you come across, most of whom may either disgust you, piss the hell out of you, act clever or are just dumb. Some who you really like, you need time to figure out what's wrong with them. Most people you meet for the purpose of marriage come across with different attitudes. It's like they some think they are participating in a race to get hitched, those are the ones that creep me out. This is their time to show themselves off as the best, to get the best, or at least what they hope.
When I meet a guy now, I don't want to see the side they think they are showing me. I observe enough to know where they really come from. Every action, every detail is observed and further discussed with family and friends, which is then further dissected many a times over our daily chats. The best part of marrying late I guess is that you have heard every sob story there is. You know all the challenges you will have to deal with and at this point in life you really know what parameters to judge a person on. No, am not being ludicrous but very genuine and practical. I want to at least see the honest side, even if it's just a tiny part and not get shocked by the fact that I married a stranger after say five years into the marriage.
There are all sorts of men that you come across, most of whom may either disgust you, piss the hell out of you, act clever or are just dumb. Some who you really like, you need time to figure out what's wrong with them. Most people you meet for the purpose of marriage come across with different attitudes. It's like they some think they are participating in a race to get hitched, those are the ones that creep me out. This is their time to show themselves off as the best, to get the best, or at least what they hope.
When I meet a guy now, I don't want to see the side they think they are showing me. I observe enough to know where they really come from. Every action, every detail is observed and further discussed with family and friends, which is then further dissected many a times over our daily chats. The best part of marrying late I guess is that you have heard every sob story there is. You know all the challenges you will have to deal with and at this point in life you really know what parameters to judge a person on. No, am not being ludicrous but very genuine and practical. I want to at least see the honest side, even if it's just a tiny part and not get shocked by the fact that I married a stranger after say five years into the marriage.
I want to see the real you. I mean show me your heart, show me how you will tackle my wounds, show me how you do charity and not brag about it or how you treat people. Show me how you will deal with our fights, handle the stress when our kids are frustrating the hell out of us, show me how you will handle my mood swings, my cravings, my activeness, my laziness or my experiments. How you will action when we are under immense pressure, how you will rescue me from the times that I can't handle life. Show me how you will love me, how you have fun, who you are, your likes and dislikes, your mentality, your heart. Show me every bit of your naked truth so I know how to handle you, love you and work it out. Share your political and life views, your thoughts, the kind of books you like to read, the kind of friends you have or what's your family dynamics are. What pisses you off, what thrills you, show me what I will mean to you. Not just brag about how much you earn, or how much power and authority you have or how good looking you are or have impeccable table manners because all of these things can be learned, earned but who you are as a person can never be changed. That's what I want to look when I decide to marry you. I want to know your thoughts if we can sit for hours together talking about everything under the sun, or not talk and just keep looking in to our phones. I want to discuss things apart from work, family or groceries. I want to talk about generic things and how they might turn into something deep.
I know it's tough to figure all of this out immediately, but at least share a glimpse of it and not start with "oh, we need to check our physical compatibility" or "yeah, I have an insurance firm in London and don't get much time" or " I know so many powerful people". So stop with the name dropping! I mean really, if I started telling you about my family and how well placed bunch they are, how educated they are, how some of them are so influential, or what a fun bunch they are or how I have a million connections and how I like my fish or meat bla bla, it isn't a popularity contest, it's just a freaking first meet for a perspective marriage that may not even happen.
I know it's tough to figure all of this out immediately, but at least share a glimpse of it and not start with "oh, we need to check our physical compatibility" or "yeah, I have an insurance firm in London and don't get much time" or " I know so many powerful people". So stop with the name dropping! I mean really, if I started telling you about my family and how well placed bunch they are, how educated they are, how some of them are so influential, or what a fun bunch they are or how I have a million connections and how I like my fish or meat bla bla, it isn't a popularity contest, it's just a freaking first meet for a perspective marriage that may not even happen.
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