The Dating World!

Went on a date after a really long time. Actually, now that I think about it, I guess it wasn't even a date. This guy asked me out for dinner and we met. You know when you're young and how it was, when you had a date you were so busy trying to impress each other that you absolutely forget to have a good time. You were so conscious of how you're hair is looking, of thinking if you have food stuck in your teeth or if you should keep your hand up or down or flick your hair at an appropriate time or whatever but the focus is just on giving off a great first impression.

But what happens when you're an adult and you go out for a date is another experience. I really see a person, I don't care if I crunch up my hair during the date. There is no need for first impressions and that's the best part about casual dating because you understand that if you didn't already give off a good expression you wouldn't be out on a date now, would you? 

The perspective changes now to more important things that you really should be on the look out for. That's the power of being immune to attraction or love after you've experienced the down side. It can be a downer because you see past the facade and you skip ahead to the fact that whether the date in question is really making some decent conversation or not, you end up concluding value of the date. You focus more on him than yourself, though it can be intimidating to the poor fella, act on keeping it low key but then again, go out and enjoy dating and having a really good time because than what it should be and not a contest to see who impresses whom. 




Image courtesy google

Bliss

This is my kind of weather!

This is the kind of weather where you can snuggle in bed all day long and have yourself a  movie or soap marathon. 

This is the kind of weather my friend, where you can stay still inside cosy blanket or stay warm with a good book and a cup of steaming hot cocoa or coffee or tea or whatever you fancy. 

This is the kind of where you make papads or pakoras with masala chai and make some soul satisfying conversations with your loved ones.

This is the kind of day where you just want to cuddle into your loved one and have about 20 kissing sessions and maybe just maybe 4 sessions of yee haw (if you know what I mean). 

This my peeps, is the weather when you write your heart out. 

Recurring Passions!

I've had the knack of fashion, painting, designing since long. To the extend that my peers from school when they meet me still tell me that I should have done fashion designing (may be I should have). I met an old friend today who reminded me of the same thing. 

Anyhow, I sat one day and took out all of my unfinished work and believe you me, it's been ages since I've even seen those. Just to flaunt a few of my work, there are people who are willing to do export business of personalized suits from here till the US (insert Shades smiley).

Projects that begin with such gusto and then fizzle out need motivation of the highest order. It takes a lot to finish something to bring it to totality and not wonder if it's going to turn out the way you hoped it would be. Because sometimes it takes the shape of something so beautiful and other times you are left with an ugly piece of work that you can't stash because of all the effort you've put into it and so you somehow become attached to it. You hide it somewhere, waiting for the time to know what really you intend to do with it. I picked up those forgotten pieces today and made up my mind to fix them, finish them so that someday, at least some part of me doesn't regret that I didn't see it through.

The Future!

Okay, so the process of meeting perspective husband guys has begun and it's taxing as f***. Why do relatives set you up? Why? I mean talking of the endless times where one reunion with the family and the next week goes into hushed telephone calls or chance encounters at lunches at a relatives place or when directly you are told to go "meet someone". How many times you have to smile through the endless conversation of when you will meet the "lucky guy" who will finally have you. It's like a deep abyss you keep falling with an echo of your relatives or friends voices going "GET MARRIED SOON".

There are all sorts of men that you come across, most of whom may either disgust you, piss the hell out of you, act clever or are just dumb. Some who you really like, you need time to figure out what's wrong with them. Most people you meet for the purpose of marriage come across with different attitudes. It's like they some think they are participating in a race to get hitched, those are the ones that creep me out. This is their time to show themselves off as the best, to get the best, or at least what they hope. 

When I meet a guy now, I don't want to see the side they think they are showing me. I observe enough to know where they really come from. Every action, every detail is observed and further discussed with family and friends, which is then further dissected many a times over our daily chats. The best part of marrying late I guess is that you have heard every sob story there is. You know all the challenges you will have to deal with and at this point in life you really know what parameters to judge a person on. No, am not being ludicrous but very genuine and practical. I want to at least see the honest side, even if it's just a tiny part and not get shocked by the fact that I married a stranger after say five years into the marriage.

I want to see the real you. I mean show me your heart, show me how you will tackle my wounds, show me how you do charity and not brag about it or how you treat people. Show me how you will deal with our fights, handle the stress when our kids are frustrating the hell out of us, show me how you will handle my mood swings, my cravings, my activeness, my laziness or my experiments. How you will action when we are under immense pressure, how you will rescue me from the times that I can't handle life. Show me how you will love me, how you have fun, who you are, your likes and dislikes, your mentality, your heart. Show me every bit of your naked truth so I know how to handle you, love you and work it out. Share your political and life views, your thoughts, the kind of books you like to read, the kind of friends you have or what's your family dynamics are. What pisses you off, what thrills you, show me what I will mean to you. Not just brag about how much you earn, or how much power and authority you have or how good looking you are or have impeccable table manners because all of these things can be learned, earned but who you are as a person can never be changed. That's what I want to look when I decide to marry you. I want to know your thoughts if we can sit for hours together talking about everything under the sun, or not talk and just keep looking in to our phones. I want to discuss things apart from work, family or groceries. I want to talk about generic things and how they might turn into something deep. 

I know it's tough to figure all of this out immediately, but at least share a glimpse of it and not start with "oh, we need to check our physical compatibility" or "yeah, I have an insurance firm in London and don't get much time" or " I know so many powerful people". So stop with the name dropping! I mean really, if I started telling you about my family and how well placed bunch they are, how educated they are, how some of them are so influential, or what a fun bunch they are or how I have a million connections and how I like my fish or meat bla bla, it isn't a popularity contest, it's just a freaking first meet for a perspective marriage that may not even happen. 

Lohri!

I love being a Punjabi! I can't stress that enough, but even though there are certain things I absolutely despise about my clan, there are so many things about us that I adore. Take for instance our culture and all the festivities that we have. You cannot think of a more vibrant religion and culture anywhere in this world. 

Today is Lohri and since I just got a rich (bless all the aunties and the uncles), I will only write about the good things about us. It all begins with loud roars of laughter which is closely followed by a lot of leg pulling before the festivities begin, following which is of course force feeding that usually leaves you so stuffed that it's physically impossible to do any other activity. You know I think the reason that we are crazy for dance is because it's one of the best workouts there is.

Even though there may be tiffs in a family on and off, when it comes to celebration, mine knows how to party. The best part about us all is that even though the event is usually celebrated with family and friends, the acceptance levels of outsiders (after 3 drinks...shhhh) is so high that friends become family too. This is why I love celebrations, the ambiance of solidarity, the food (Makki di roti te sarsoan da saad, phugga naal te peg naal), the bond, the alcohol (and lots of it), the money (hello shopping!) and definitely all the fun is quadrupled.

 Who wouldn't want be a part of this?

Colour Me Crazy!

How do you deal with the stress in your life? Do you enjoy a bit of a run? Are you a yoga guru? Whatever you do to relieve stress sometimes can be a cause of stress. Didn't think about that now, did you?  

In order to do more stress relieving activities and to regain my focus, I found this new way to bust your stress. As more and more people are being driven towards colouring as an art therapy and a great way to soothe your nerves, I thought I'd give it a try as well. This mindfulness activity helps you draw in creativity and helps you hone your attention. There are so many options that you can choose from. From intricate and complex design to simple broad patterns. When you start colouring into patterns repeatedly, it leads you into some sort of a meditation and whatever method of meditation you may want to try, it helps and ends up benefiting the mind, body and soul.

I think the next colouring book I shall explore will be of Mandalas. I read somewhere that Monks take weeks to create intricate Mandalas and then wipe away their beautiful creations. Hey, maybe that's how they achieve inner peace. If they can try it out, why shouldn't you? It most definitely is a promising calming tool and a very easy and yet effective way to achieve relaxation. It helps you reorients your mind and take your mind off from emotional pain, stress or any anxiety that one may be experiencing. It is, in my mind, one of the best ways to reinvent yourself.

Coupling!

Image Courtesy itsarttime 

Eyes that met fleetingly and pleaded for the possibility,

The union of desire and sensual yearning,

Those eyes that voice so much to her as only his can, 

Rousing her craving with his emergent plea.

  

Lips that trigger her to emit librettos of needs and wants,  

Lips that cause her lips beseech her claims.

He's touched her like no other, deep within her intensities,    

Causing her heart to wager, and conveying transience of gasps.

    

From a cavernous well of hunger and demands, 

As impassioned tongues met in the midst of fiery breaths,

Greedily they drank the wine of lust and sin.  

Befuddled with feelings, clothes resting peacefully on the floor.

Stripping off their seams bit by bit,

No more hiding places, passion disclosed,

Only two bodies glimmering and coveting,

Skin amalgamated with skin, as the ground turned into stage.

Creating in him such ravenousness to savor her sweet wet flesh,   

To sip and whirl with lips and tongue in fervent voracious surge, 

The caress of soft and silky skin, with just a trace of sweat,

The taste of her skin between his lips, cries of mercy, breathtaking.

                                                              

Fighting without resistance underneath the cool layers, 

Abandoning all reservations, beginning work on each other’s frame, 

Curious as he moved atop of her easily, 

And she buried herself softly underneath his weight.

Kissing as she was filled with him, a gasp broke the kiss,

Her hands caressed his outline till he was fully inside, 

As the entangled limbs, rhythm gave way, to urges,

Thrusts of passion, arched bodies comforting each other. 

Heads fall back into ecstasy,

He left her screaming and soaked,

Into oblivion again and again, 

As he moaned her name from the back of his throat.

Their bodies both wanted more, 

To give each other to the other some more,

 High on the juices of the exotic core,

 She grasped, then released, swimming in throws. 

In effort to relieve her in full control, 

He shifted with one irrevocable and breaking blow, 

Forcing her to seek the crests of pleasure,

As her smoldering screams echoed cries of war. 

Scribed deep and with smooth strokes,

Yelling intrepid literacies of love,  

Engraved with hardened need,
Achieved desires and freedom from enslaved longings.

He welcomed the weight of her,

As she collapsed on top of him, 

Glowing like an ember still sizzling and sweltering,

Molding into each other, a welcoming sight. 

Blast and Blight!

I've been running away from writing because I know that till I don't write about it, I can repress it. There are just so many thoughts and so little time to capture them all. Maybe they match someone else's thoughts or maybe they are brand new or maybe just stolen right from someone's breath but there are so many thoughts and so little a time to wrap them all in the blanket of words and stay beneath them. 

Do you ever wonder how with every season our choices change, our eating habits change, our produce changes. Nature is the biggest inspiration for change. Look at seasons, how they move from winters, to summers, to autumn and look at us, stuck on one thing or another. Move, change, see the beauty in every season. 

Pain is a way of the mind to tell your body that you are not okay now but you will be. The love you harbor for another, if it's true of course, doesn't really extinguish. That's the thing about love, it constantly keeps changing forms like from the tightest of tugs at the heart to the tinniest of waves of the sea which appear once a while and just slowly skim the surface and you don't even feel the ripple even though it's there. It turns to that. When you choose someone and they tell you that you deserve better, it's like a back hand slap that's delivered with the sweetest care. The least they can do is value you for choosing them. If someone has wronged you, they tell you to forgive and move on. You want to forgive and move on but no one tells you how tough it is and no one tells you how much strength it needs. They just tell you it's going to be good for you and you should do that if you want to move on. Do they tell them to apologize, do they tell them to not be so shitty, do they tell them to not hurt people. Even if they do, do they do it? NO!

Similarly, assumptions will be the death of humanity. I have realized that it's so easy to fool people with words. Say the right things and you can have them eating out of your palms. Write for love and people think you are in love. We let people get to us because of whatever we write and how it is reciprocated. People don't realize the power of thoughts. If you write about a killer, are you one? If you write about other castes, have you converted? There is a lifetime full of memories and people that you encounter and what people don't understand is that is that you can revisit that anytime and just as much write about it in the present.  That's the power of the mind combined with a pen!

Disconnect to Connect

How many times do you really think to find yourself? We often find ourselves after something affects us, it really is never a self driven process. From the sages and saints that we read about or worship, when you read about them and listen to their stories, this is the only conclusion you come to. 

There are days when you just don't want to face the world, you're not ready for it. It's not because you can't but because there are nights when everything around you is quiet and you can hear your heartbeat so loud it's like a gong in your head. The worst question to find an answer for is who you are. What you do know about yourself is the firm belief of your own character traits but the response to a situation is impossible to gauge. You don't know who you are, because you don't know how you will respond to a situation. Sometimes the hurt is so bad that you become bad ass gangsta and go bat shit crazy or you become so ignorant that it no longer affects you. 

For instance I'm not in love with anyone at the moment and that's okay. I have feelings that need healing, hurt that needs detoxification. The need to build myself back to be who I was is so strong that it makes me anxious. To become that person before people happened to you. So much more of you is waiting in a corner of your mind, heart and soul for the right person to get to know you, appreciate you and love you. 

We often end up comparing ourselves to people and grade them in our mind undermining all of our achievements and our lives. You are the best version of you, that should never change but need to be improved upon. Change the damaged parts, fill the broken cracks, you have the power to do it, you just need the will to go get it. You have all the right ingredients for it. Just breathe and enjoy the uniqueness that is you. Someone will always be better than you, but that someone will never be you. 

A Call to Creativity

Somewhere in the complexities of our lives, we are often driven away from a lot of things that we liked to do because we start to prioritize other important things or sometimes just waste time overthinking about things that shouldn't matter. Creativity is what brings value to your life along with motivation to really go ahead and explore what your hands and mind can do. As new year resolutions go, I decided to reinvest in creative side. 

Creativity has no limit, we've been taught this, we've heard about it and we have even seen examples of it. It's an umbrella of so many hobbies that one cannot really choose what arena to explore with it. As was my resolutions, I've been procrastinating about getting into a new hobby. Primarily, because there is just so much happening in my life at the moment that I cannot fathom spending time or rather dedicate allocated time to a new activity. Which is why, I had a brilliant thought. Why not finish what I started. Since, that's lately been the theme of my life, I wanted to revisit the hobby of working with craft. I used to do many things as a kid and then adult happened, which was still okay but then internet happened, who can escape that?

As the mandatory activity of spring cleaning began, letting go of stuff I no longer have use of happened on a full scale and somewhere between cleaning out junk and finding priceless things, I found some of my work that was left somewhere in between, forgotten and buried with the daily humdrum of life, secluded sitting in a corner and not getting any of my attention, one that it really deserves. There is a lot of my work that is displayed around my house, that includes paintings, glass painting, embroideries and so forth and some that was gifted by me or some like a glass painting I did as window treatment for some family friends. I used to love devoting time to really creating a beautiful pieces of work and then one day I just left this, most probably I grew out of it at that time.

I know I'm no Picasso, but I am proud of my work, some of  which is displayed here

I don't usually boast about all of my talents over social media or in life in general but my blog is a place where I can write whatever I want or feel and hence I don't restrict myself of any bragging rights. I find it to be rather liberating to be able to put into words what my mind thinks without even uttering a single word. Powerful! 

Just getting a glimpse of what was started and left stranded, motivated me in a way that probably wouldn't have before. What I have learnt from these last couple of months is that one should grab opportunities because while you keep waiting for the opportune moment to strike you, it often is too late. Following that pattern, all I want to do now is finish all my left over projects so that I can start some new ones with a renewed gusto.

A New Day!

I used to have this stupid tradition to do everything that I want to do in the coming year on 1st of January, so at least I know that I will have to do it, but I have realized that it rarely ever worked and I usually was so exhausted by the end of it that I just ruined the other day. 31st as such is a crazy night as I want it to be, I mean the year should go down with a bang.

The first thing to do every year is that I just have to visit the Gurudwara. And amid a sea of people and the clicks of their camera, I somehow always manage to ask for his grace for the coming year. Then I have to do what I want to do, I listen to music, watch my favorite TV show, talk or meet (if possible) with the people I love, catch up on my hobbies, dance, write and so on. There isn't though time for me, I've realized that. I used to make resolutions with such gusto that it scared me. As I'm getting older though I find it such a silly stunt now that I look back. 

You do realise that it's just another year, just another day that will turn into just another year. What we fail to really grasp is the importance of how time is passing us by. People are living their life with every tick of the clock. There isn't enough time to do everything that you want to do. Every year we dream of more luxury, more grandiose. As a child I really wanted to become an archaeologist. I aspired to go on digs to distant lands and understand and discover their history. To be a part of something that was and you helped bring to light in this day and age has to be a spectacular feeling. So, this year I have decided to dig my soul out and help me bring myself back to life. Time is too short and it's running away from you with every step you take into the future. You need to remember, you need to make memories, you need to know that you are going to leave an important mark in this world. You just don't know it yet!