Misguided Desires!

The worth of love taught to us appears therapeutic,

We often dream of it, where we see all of our trouble’s descending,

That one touch, the few words which heal us all,

Then why does love have the highest cost?

Rather than comforting the soul, it buries it beneath a hundred,

Everyone dreams of a story they can cherish,

Of happiness and joy but how often does it transpire?

Heartbreaks and twinge is the truth we are dealt with.

To give your precious self into the hands of another,

Only to be slaughtered time and again,

Is it worth all the mistakes and whines?

When did we become so greedy and vain?

To want another’s heart to care for our being,

To respect the love they offer and convince with,

To hold out our hands and cope with the anguish we all live in.

But it is the crutch we now walk with,

Our hearts aches when we see the other wounded,

Good are the people then who don’t indulge in the fancies of fondness,

Because it only offers disenchantments and not really any sustenance.

How to help a heart which is broken?

What do you do with all the love you choose to give it?

How do you balance the pain and the want that lies alongside it?

How do you forget that one who seems perfect in spite of all their crimes?

How do you tell them that their scars are attractive and a delight?

How do you bring yourself to be miffed again inside?

Isn’t it better then to refrain from love and its games?

He who dares you to follow the path of heart again,

What do you do when he is the one who leaves you afar?

How do you tell them that you are scared and scarred beyond?

How do you say no when all of you screams yes,

What can you do when you see it’s beyond a mess?

To make them understand what they mean to you.

How do you make them look ahead and see you?

How do you tell them that you know their ache?

They say time heals, destiny deals the hand,

But what if you are blind to it and turn your head round time and again.

Then comes a time when you do what they want,

Because invariably they show your place in their life if at all,

This too shall pass, is the only thought that helps,

The tears pool again, only to form a river again,

Sometimes it’s your destiny to never receive the love you crave,

But then that’s life, no one tells you this when the stories begin.

All of those fairy tales are wrong,

Your prince never comes back to find you and twirl around,

Not that you need rescuing from the agony,

You only want someone to accompany in your journey.

Then all you can do, is ignore the inkling of amity,

Life is harder when you plummet in ardour without propriety,

So pick up your head and progress ahead,

The worst feeling is not to be wanted yet again,

When you offer the best of your best,

No matter who you are or what you can do,

Your destiny is not alas what you choose, so put it to rest.

The Wonderous World of Twitter!

Now, twitter is THE realm of the brainy and the cheesy, there are individuals who you want to associate with, who you crave to be friends with, who you desire to do (like literally). You can say what you want to say only if you are not hell bent on claiming the prestigious status ( totally useless real life accolade) called “twitter celebrity”. Not everyone will respect your views and that’s OK but people who get on twitter with the aim to have mass followings, have a totally different agenda. Mine was and I am not ashamed to say, will always be to vent. It is such a relief to just say what you want without bothering about the fact that you may be annoying factually a 1000 or more people at once but hey “mah twitter mah rulez” :p. I had never really given a thought to the amount of pressure social media puts on you to become the better or worse version of who you truly are.

Right, so I was never really active on twitter because you know…tell me you know…well ok I don’t know (JESUS)..anyways , so have been active (addicted) for a while now and definitely loving it so much that officially my nick name from “nonu/nonz” has changed to “Tweety Singh” *insert a deep heavy set sigh here*. There are certain aspects of twitter that are truly despicable and one of them is groupism with loads of hatred. There are battles of epic proportions just flying around in thin air, people quoting tweets; insults bla bla like real life was not sucky enough now you have people who trash you on the virtual platform too. 

Now, I may not be veracious, but this is my scrutiny of what the twitter world (India centric mostly) is, no offence guys just trying to figure stuff out here. So, here are the categories of tweeps found on twitter, and no am not talking about celebrities, politicians, professional twitter accounts , more like just a virtual scan of the general folks on twitter…ahem let’s begin shall we…

THE TYRANTS

They are the "Gods" of twitter and deliver great content, no doubt about that. They are the oppressors, they have a certain fan following, they have their nemesis and they do what they do best – spread their thoughts, ideologies and may also function as opinion leaders for the naive. These are the people who choose to interact with only a small sect of people. Outrage on almost any issue that comes into the picture. Some ridiculously flirt with whoever they fancy, most responses are given to specific people and response to other generic folks is often dependent on their mood or choice . They RT the ass-lickers and are somewhat so hooked on to their ideals and thoughts that they sometimes act so mulish and forget to understand the view point of another and oh FYI they are mostly anonymous. They may play powerful roles in real life and hence the dominant forms of leadership traits are often exhibited by them.

THE RETWEETERS

These are the people who primarily are in it for the fame. It’s like the archaic barter system, you RT mine and I’ll RT yours. The popular RT spree is their weapon of choice. Some will literally retweet without reading (so annoying), it’s like sitting through a horrible episode of “The Attack of the ReTweeters” (season xyz episode no. I don’t fucking care). I mean guys really just read the stuff you are RTing, I don’t want to read about people’s bowel cycles or their sex lives.  

THE INTELLECTUAL TWEETERS

This lot is the brainy lot that does massive research in order to tweet well. Because hey we all know if you are that good, you just have to show off right. There are some as I have come to know, who take it upon themselves to educate you. That is the second most agenda followed by - oh look! am so cool and famous. They will constantly pimp their posts, their life, their achievements – Dude that’s what facebook is for. I don’t need to know who you are; I just want to read what you write. These intellectuals feel that sharing their life’s details is what we all crave to read, cue “Celebrity Mania”. In spirit of being a true intellectual, they will opine about everything – gather evidence and well you know the rest.

  

THE FUNNY GUYS

They are like the brady bunch of twitter, constantly making fun of anything they can get their hands on really. They are perpetually funny (or atleast try to be), they don’t interact much , they have their genre defined. They will pimp their tweets from years ago and be like see “Told you so…… now laugh”. Am not saying they are not funny, they are sometimes so much that you actually just want to read them but there is no variety. Yet, they are very communal, they will associate with other funny men and  “help” them spread their humour. Such people are often condescending and if they are good looking well sweety, you amount to nothing.

  

THE HOTTIES

Ok, so these are the dudes/dudettes who are the hottie’s of social media. Good looking blokes/lassies and yes a brain to back them looks too but OMG ok enough already..let me know when you will come off that shiny horsey and accept the fact that NOT every woman/man alive has the hots for you. I mean really ok given you are cute, you are brainy but hello check that attitude please and come back when you have showered your ego and are back on earth. Must be tiring for that big ass attitude to settle down.

THE TWEETHEARTS

Now these are the people who truly make your experience wonderful. They might not have the constant amazing tweet generating brain but they are amazing people, who are really the tweeps who you truly begin to cherish. They don't have a set genre which is what I love about them because variety and ofcourse they have these awesome witty moments, backed by punny statements, dirty interactions that make you fall in love. You adore them for their wit but you end up loving those cute lil buggers.

THE GATHERERS

Now it is no surprise that twitter brings forth the best of trends and here comes the job of the gatherers. These are the people who are nerdy, geeky, info hogs etc etc call them whatever you like but they are the ones who will hunt down and seek information and deliver it to ya. There is a certain awe-factor attached to this because you know, I mean respect for all that effort but it does leave you with the feeling of confusion and ultimately the question of "WHY would I want to know that?"

THE ASS LICKERS

OMG these are the worst, granted you have talent but hey why do you have to lick someone’s ass to be famous. Like this is your life’s agenda is to be famous on twitter – like really, think big man and oh ya curb that licking!

  

THE ASS KICKERS

Now this is the group I like, they may have a bit of all of the above mentioned traits but who cares because they have BALLS. The way they battle and hold their ground is commendable. Though they can be annoying at times but hey you gotta love em.

  

THE TROLLS

Argg the worst kind this, some are cute though - the only perk. But these are the people who will just take a fleeting thought you just had and you have " TROLL ALERT" (cue danger sounds). They will battle left and right,try to condemn your tweet and hell make you wish why you tweeted that damn thought in the first place.

  

THE HULKS

Now these are the gentle folk of twitter, who follow you and then will flatter you, shower you with attention and when you don’t do as they want (aka follow them), they hulk up. They will start to berate you, abuse you and who knows start a hate club or parody account or just do some mean shit. It is sad but unfortunately the reality. There are enough hulks on twitter to make me hurl. 

  

THE REPLIERS

Well sweety, I truly appreciate that you hear me every time but please for the love of god, don’t reply to everything I say. Sometimes I just want a thought out of my system and let it rest in peace. No questions asked, no discussion needed  like the shit you flush down every morning. You don’t want it to resurface anytime soon now right. I mean yes, I agree I respond to you out of sheer courtesy but please I want to see some new faces in my notification. With that thought – THANK GOD FOR FAV BUTTON.

  

THE DAILY UPDATERS

Hehe ok I may be guilty of this but why not atleast this is some fun – at times. These are the people who will tweet random life stuff…oh look a butterfly….oh look an asshole….it just is their innate desire to speak to someone and just drill out all the secrets they may have. Not denying AT ALL that they are fun but you know show me something else.

  

THE TWEETSPEARS

These are the kinds who really do churn out some good poems/verses, they may not be famous but it’s fun to read the dark thoughts lingering beneath the darker personalities. No matter what, that's talent right there, though I would appreciate if it’s simple poetry..hard to travel around with a dictionary you see.

THE CRIBBERS

Sure you tweet well, and there is no denying that fact but hey sometimes it’s not in your destiny to be famous. You may have the right following, but not necessarily the right luck to be famous. There are strategies you can use if you are that desperate. But please don’t tweet about it. Accept it. Own it. But tweet well.

THE DM-ERS

The DM for dummies is the next bestseller. You only have to follow such people, a few RTs later instant DM happens and bang, it's like you are being interrogated. It’s like the CIA has taken over and you are supposed to confess to all your felonies. The next step to this is usually asking for whatsapp, followed by intense amount of stupid flirting and you end up thinking WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING when you gave them your number. This is usually the younger (read virgin) crowd, who wanna” try” new things. When you see one, HONEY run or NEVER TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE SINGLE. ( caps..ya so you know the intensity of the madness).

  
THE GRAMMAR NAZIS

These are the people who have a good command over the language and ofcourse will point out your typo as soon as you hit “tweet” because you know ha! You , are just an imbecile who does not know English. 

THE CASANOVAS

Ahh the sexters…these are the perpetually horny people who will try to land anything that remotely even infringes on the topic of SEX. They will constantly be looking for people who they can lure into their DMs and hurray a play date finally.   

THE SLUTS

Mind you, this is not a sexist category, it encompasses both the genders equally. These are the people who know they are hot, brainless but that does not stop them from gaining followers...why you ask hahaha ( refer to the display picture please). Wait, that’s the weapon..silly me just writing about them made me drop 10 points from my IQ, so excuse this bit.

Well, these are all the types I could think of, funny thing is I am still unsure of where I fit. Am not famous and certainly do doubt my abilities at times here on twitter wrt to the coolness factor, the hotness scale, to the point that once I took multiple online IQ tests to confirm that I am not dumb (Not a word from you). But the fact of the matter is that yes, this is the world I have come to enjoy. I have luckily found some really amazing people to connect with and some shittier ones too . I’ve had crushes and I’ve had heartbreaks. People here do have the potential to alter your moods, hurt you, love you and ofcourse encourage you to be the shittier you. I need to work on this bit though…someday maybe I will not let words and attitudes affect me so. But this microblog is an epitome of the microlife that we all live in reality.

P.S:  Any additions to the above said categories will be accepted with great enthusiasm provided its witty :p

Beloved Wisdom!

You lose friends, you lose lovers,

You lose your heart, you lose yourself.

Then you stumble and plummet,

Only to reap the smashed pieces,

That lie on the ground,

Shattered and cheated.

But life moves on,

It urges you to,

To be bold again,

To make you find love again.

Sadness always prevails,

In that one corner your heart,

All the tears you cried,

Accumulate in a puddle on the ground.

One thing I've learned,

Never push away the love that you get,

It's precious as a diamond,

So don't take it for granted everyday.

Because once thwarted it glides away,

And one day you do feel the pain seethe within,

But don't forget to love again,

If you are the one repudiated,

Because somewhere out there,

Is that special someone,

Who yearns for you everyday!

 

Pensive Thoughts

I don’t know why I succumb to it every single time. It just takes one single episode that does not agree with me and am right back where I started. You think you have identified a flaw and then you think what needs to be done about it. That’s probably the most logical thing to do right. They say you need to be action oriented, am just truly mislaid. Time and again I think to myself that yes I am better than that and I can be who I want to be, who I envision myself to be. Not saintly enough yet to live comfortably so that I am able to deal with the issues in my life at peace without any agitation. Then all of a sudden this anxiety attack just happens (I don’t know if it’s categorized as one too) but there is this feeling at the pit of my stomach that I know is bad. All the memories come rushing in mostly all the malevolent stuff.

 I actually figured out that one of the best solutions is to just forget. I’ve forgotten what hurts me, things that made me feel sad, friends who betrayed me, unresolved issues etc. but knowing that it has worked, there is a price I’ve paid. I’ve forgotten the good parts too. Mainly because they hurt now more than the painful experiences that you get. Isn’t that silly? But then again it’s true. The more you think of the happier times, the more you want them back desperately, then you remember the past and you feel that antagonism all over again.

I have gotten used to being disappointed and I don’t even know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing anymore. I feel empty – just a vessel who keeps on smiling. I want to pen so many things and yet am unable to. Not because I can’t but because it’s the same story. I know the problem, I know the consequence, I know the solution too but something just does not work. Seeing the world ahead as I step back into infinity. There is nothing that I have a wish for anymore. I don’t expect good things.  I have learnt to go with the flow. I purposely forget what I want and end up being happy with what I have.

I hate the feeling of not knowing and more so because it lands you into a cascade of delusions that hunt your every feeling and make sure that you suffer the agony. The mirage gets you every single time. You feel things are fine and it shakes and breaks the image to bring out the reality once again. 

But then what do I do with that tiny spark. That one little thing that quietly whispers “FIGHT”. The rush comes back again; the pain leaves the heart insane. I am lost again but this train of thoughts moves unguided still.