Introspection

Ok it’s established, I am highly motivated when someone royally pisses me off. Earlier in my life I was rather short tempered but somehow and after immense coaxing from people around me, I've learnt the knack to show case calm exterior in the moments of utter anguish.

As I look back and read my blog, I still feel the need to educate myself on people and their character and personalities. It is clearly a point of major disappointment for me in my life. I trust too soon, I fall too soon; I just get in too soon without thinking. In a span of let’s say xx years (*giggles), I have still not mastered the art to judge and read people for who they are.

How mislead and misguided I am at times for some people, makes me want to get therapy. Like for today's example, kinda sorta liked this guy. Intellectually speaking, he kinda sorta stimulated me (:p) but then reality happened:

Highlights, need you ask:

• He lied who he was to begin with (never could understand this actually)
• He tried to flirt with me and my 18 year old sister simultaneously (and don’t know how many more)
• He is totally utterly confused and misguided bout himself
• Was pretty good at attempting to  judge me but alas could not
• He has major misconceptions about himself
• Seriously confused and demented
• Borderline (tipping towards the end actually) nymphomaniac

I mean then again living a life which is romanticized to such an extent that you get so far away from reality is totally utterly surreal. It's not like it is in the books, one of which he quoted, Erich Segal’s love story. You need to give time and space to people. You need to establish trust and give time to the other person to know who you are. Where are the men who wooed a woman endlessly till they got their hearts desire (No I am not quoting a book myself, I researched it :/). The fact that in today's world, everything is so fast paced that you feel if you don't fulfil that request, you will never be able to find love. Not that I am out there looking for it anymore. I think that with Indian Men it’s very rare that you can even get that sort of conduct.

But I feel it’s a waste of words and your breath to explain this concept to people and make them aware of the same value of this over glorified feeling (love I mean). I think now my strategy is pretty clear, just go with the flow. Let the ones who dive in too quickly hit rock bottom whereas you experience it wave after wave.

And as I am writing this blog, I feel that’s another week of my life that I have totally and completely wasted on another person who does not and nor ever will matter. Key points that I need to work on, and change myself totally is the need of the hour. I think I waste too much of my precious self and energy on people. 

This has to change!