A New Year's Resolution!

OMG the year is ending….ok wait anxiety attack of proportions that I don’t think you can even imagine. The pressure to make that new year’s bucket list is high on the agenda and the worst feeling is to see the unfinished one pending from last year. To be honest really it took me sometimes to even find the damn thing, that’s how “high” on the priority list it was. Right so the panic had set in further because I have procrastinated long enough, I don’t know what to put in the damn bucket list. Should I just make the left over list from all the previous years but no that would scream downright stupidity and well laziness. 

Wait now let’s calm my senses, figure out a strategy …hyperventilate a little to know that the freaking year is coming to an end. Today is the last day of 2014. Yes the last day of the year gone by, the year where I did make some amazing memories and had some troubles too. 

It is never really was an issue for me …the years passing you know (all lies...am freaking out) only because people keep telling me that age is just a number well hello that number will increase in the coming year again. This is absolutely the worst possible moment – this reminiscing of the past and the fantasizing of the future bit. I am so scandalized right now that it is not even funny. Literally you should see the expression on my face.

Hmm ok so after some time out with friends during lunch I think I figured it out. I truly want this year to be the year of change for me. I want to be a better (read hotter) person, a wittier person, a decent bitch, less careless thereby a more focused person. I want to have the adventures that I always dream of and that would include the whole chick lit inspired shit n all you see. I want to live this year so that by the end of it when I write a post again I don’t have any regrets, because I’ve been living a life with a lot of regrets. I have seen a lot of possibilities turning into impossibilities right before my eyes this last year. You must be thinking may be am high…(I kinda would to – though the sloshed part hehe) but no  I want to live. I read about it, I write about it but if not this year- when?

It will take a lot of hard work , I can see that I know that but I want to do it. I mean it’s not like am dying or anything but I think in some ways I have killed myself, over and over again. Made sacrifices for people , put their needs first so now I want to focus on me. Let’s see how that goes until then am going back to the board to finish that bucket list.