Good or Bad!

Well the good thing about these social media websites is that when you communicate with a plethora of people from varied backgrounds, they often give you a lot of points to brood on. Anyhow, something similar happened recently which made me want to write another post. 

So I have a conversation with this gentleman, who always rubs me the wrong way and we end up disagreeing.  Now the conversation terminated in a dialogue from the other party stating that I do not have a good and a big heart. A mere statement yes but it did spark a few places.

First, there is immense antagonism towards the other, how do you revert to such a statement, there is no point explaining yourself to a stranger who absolutely has no idea what kind of a person you are. You introspect and really think about one fact – what is the definition of a “Good and Big Heart”. Are there any social guidelines that I missed on or have I not been sensitized enough? Isn’t the definition of this a very personal perception which may often be jaded by experience that this life has to offer? How can you judge anyone on the basis of a few random conversations to come to a conclusion that they are really bad people?

I mulled over this thought the minute I read the comment and was frankly again disappointed in myself more than the other person. I let things like this get to me. Where at one stage I feel that I actually should toughen up a little more in life because of the “good and big heart: (no pun intended) that I have, I am again at a cross bridge trying to contemplate how others perceive your persona to be. Just because you have a voice and you raise it, you are tagged, humiliated and berated. This is why we end up being cynical I feel. I promised myself years ago that no matter what hardships in life I will face I will remain true to myself. But times likes these am forced to re-evaluate my promise.

What defines a person with a good and big heart, is it the one who never argues his/her point, and is a constant people pleaser or a humanitarian or a religious person who sacrifices his/her life for others. I want to know now what the parameters are. A good person may be one who takes care others feelings, is kind and thoughtful, but then should you be the same for every person, some who might piss you off too or select few who really are worth it. If you are forever good where does the frustration of venting discharge from. How do you achieve a balance?

I am a good person by my standards, I genuinely am nice to people until they prove me wrong and yes I do retaliate, in that moment if am bad then yes I will take that trait because it lets me remain stable. My “Goodness” is not textbook, neither do I want it to be but am I not entitled to be mean when am hurt. In the end, I know people see you and label you in the way that is convenient for them and I accept that but the best part is I don’t have to prove who I am to them. The only person I need to be answerable to at the end of the day is me, myself and I.