Love Rules

We’ve all well mostly have read the book – He is just not that into you (though the movie was better actually) and we have had numerous discussions on how to be the exception and not the rule.Well boo hoo that’s just a façade to trap women to buy the damn book. In reality there are no rules, hence no exceptions- its luck or just really fortunate or calculating people. From all the discussions i've had at least, I don’t know about you guys, but I present to you some rules.  So, here are some revelations – the rest I’ll share in my book *totally fictitious ofcourse*  :D

Rule: If he loves you, he will marry you

We have seen so many movies well mostly Bollywood/rom-com's, where if the hero loves you ergo he will marry you, WTF - this never happens in real life, in reality you don’t know if he really loves you or if he just wants to basically screw you or use you to get what he want. In reality there are very few devoted people who love you and marry you. Rest is just "arranged" anyways right. Also girls are not what they seem, they lie, they cheat and they manipulate and they get the guy that they want. Funny thing is, even if they do marry you with some god’s grace, they keep searching for their “Soul Mate” -  * a word not to be used lightly apparently *.

Rule: If a guy likes/loves you he will call you 24 x 7

Well no that just happens when you like each other or are starting to date or maybe he wants to lay you soon. If you call him or he does every day, you do get irritated *insert pyar ka panchnama discussion scene here*. He might respond decently but isn’t it weird when you are together he moves out to take his calls * run like crazy girl and don’t look back*. There is an entire game plan that people have. I don’t even want to go there. I mean keep it simple yaar.

Rule: No one is ever busy to talk or message if they love you

So in continuation of the previous rule, I mean hello we can be workaholics or busy with other things. I really don’t know from where such rules see the light of day. The person has to be the most chep person ever. You tire yourself and other person with the constant banter. Really just stay away already. The saying – distance makes the heart grow fonder, was there because of a reason. Give each other some space and it would be very kind on the rest of us if the coochi coo's and the baby, jaanu etc can be kept between texts and preferably away from our ears.

Rule: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves

That mostly totally never happens. You may just be a challenge and when you succumb, you deary are conquered and hence you will no longer remain a task on the "to-do" list. People have their own commitments, for instance you cannot expect a person you have the perfect chemistry with to forget everyone and give you a shot *perfect movie plot though* but nonetheless does not happen. They say they are being sensible but are they? or are you being unreasonable? anyhow....

Rule: He will only forever love you

The most misused line ever!! Imagine him looking at you with those puppy dog eyes. NO, NEVER HAPPENS. You need to be exciting enough, or be better or constantly provide boost/sexual innovation to the relationship just so you can keep a man trapped for the rest of your miserable life together. I really don’t know what the origin of the phrase is though *need to do research* but in reality you constantly keep thinking about when your spouse will stray. That happens way too often anyways.

  

Rule: If he loves you, he will do anything for you

Where do we even come up with such notions? I mean really they must have been  all the twisted love sick type people and ofcourse the movie screenplay writers who have made this an utterly glamourised commercialized myth of all times. It’s THE lie of epic proportions. Fact is life is ugly and there are people who do not believe and work on such notions but still use them to make you fall into a trap, that is fatal.

 

Rule: He is your happy ever after

Oh this is wrong on so many levels. How can you ever hold anyone else responsible for your happiness? They may be a cause of your happiness at times but it is only you who can make you blissfully and eternally happy. The sooner you accept that fact the better it will be for you. I am not saying that you need to be selfish enough to not let anyone else come in between you and your happiness but you need to prioritize yourself sometimes. That is the wisest thing you can do for you. It is not wrong and there should be no guilt attached to it.

So ladies, before you become the heroine of this horrid plot called "falling in love", I implore you to be realistic. To know that love is there in the universe, scattered as it may be, but there is no fairy tale love. It is exactly what that is – a story. So be who you are, love yourself and find someone who will prove me wrong :)