Shortfall

I miss him. Even though I don't really know him, I miss him. It's crazy that the person who has hurt you leaves behind pieces of him to clean up. It makes living life a tad bit difficult knowing that you are missing someone you shouldn't be missing. There are so many contrary thoughts that line up in my mind that in the end it's just about segregating, compartmentalizing and dealing with the loss of a person you cared for a lot.

I think what makes it a little easy is that whenever the need of him arises, it's best to concentrate on the negative parts so that the mind grasps that feedback and your emotions restrain. It doesn't help knowing that apparently we have mutual friends and acquaintances. It doesn't help that I saw him once and froze because all I wanted to do was kiss him. It doesn't help knowing all that I was told about him and saw the truth with my own eyes. It doesn't help that even though I try to hate him, my heart still refuses to. The fight is like a catastrophe. 

Like they say, it gets better. I'm sure it does. I have felt less and less in the past months, of course his actions aid in forgetting him. To love a heart and then learn that it wasn't for real is like getting kicked in the nuts, hard.