Battle!

Off late I think my immunity has broken up with me. Everytime I start stressing over something, inmunity says a harsh goodbye and fever becomes my new best friend. 

I think now that it may be a defence mechanism for my body to fight emotions. Fever is like Batman who wanders and hides in a cave. There is a constant battle between the white blood cells and my stress now. Stress always wins. 

So, I've been stressing over a certain something the most ( because yeah I have a fucking list to stress over), it largely preoccupies a lot of space in my life. This is affecting me way more than I thought it would, rather should. But it does. 

My doctor, who keeps suggesting ( more like direct hints actually), that there is always a solution to any problem. You might not like the solution but there is. But this issue, affects me a lot deeper. On my subconscious level rather. It's changing me in ways which I don't quite yet understand ( this is not the delusion from the fever speaking, fyi). 

The more I think of a solution, the more stress I call into my life. It's like you build a tower and when someone breaks it the first time, you fall but it leaves an impact. So you try to rebuild it better, more advanced, higher and more secure. You deem it unreachable by many and you are happy standing watching the world pass by. You keep the broken bits for remembrance sake, as lessons. But then when someone manages to reach the tower again, you commend the effort and you trust them not to break it. And then when they do, the fall is always fatal.